BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: APB22 on April 14, 2018, 07:45:38 PM
-
Hi,
I’m new to this, I lost my father just over a year ago but I’m really struggling to come to terms with it all.
We didn’t have the best of relationships but he was only 59 when he passed. I feel there is a massive void in my life now and I have many regrets abouts things that happened in the years leading up to his death.
Guess I would just like to know how others cope in this situation,
Thank you
X
-
Sending a welcome hug :hug:
All the members here have lost loved ones and understand. I'm sure they will be supportive. When you feel ready tell us a little more xx
-
Wecome too the forum. :hug: Annniversarys or up coming ones are always difficult.
I think all of us have regrets regardless of how close or divided a relationship was -because we simply cannot know whats around the corner and think of ways we could have behaved differently and because guilt is a big part of grief -so no matter how close we were too some-one we all have those, what if i had said/done something different. Its very rare in reality that it would have changed the outcome but very dificult to see that when you are grieving.
One thing people in your -or similar situations have done is to write a letter expressing those regrets -forgiving them -or asking them to forgive you -it cant bring them back and it may feel like its too late but just writing it all down might help. Some people have then burnt the letters -in a tiny ritual as they said it then helped dissipate those regrets and they could focus on better times in the relationship. Others have kept them and read them back years later only to realise that what caused the rift was just a moment within a much longer time frame of a life when things were very different, and realisd that it is the whole that matters not the rift.