BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Kes1968 on July 22, 2018, 07:37:39 PM
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Today I went on the train to St Ives, a very pretty town about an hour by train, gloriously sunny and warm and for the most part I enjoyed it, until the memories came flooding back that the last time I was there I was with mum and dad, all be it 25 years ago or so, well I don’t mind saying it did make me feel sad and I did shed a few tears 😭 but I know I have to get past that and try to enjoy things and places on my ownn. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. I felt quite depressed coming back, not at leaving the place but that this is the way things will be now. Like you said Emz, I try to think of three positive things each day and I’m sure it will get easier. It was a struggle today, I watch the various families around me and felt quite envious that they had each other, not good to think that way I know but I couldn’t help it. I wonder if I should give bereavement counselling another go, I wasn’t sure if it was for me the last time I went but perhaps it might help? Sorry to cast such a downer, hoping you’ve had a peaceful Sunday xx
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:hug: Hi kes it is difficult going back to places and seeing other people all around us with their famillys /loved ones, Going back becomes easier over time - i had one place in particular where me and my husband escaped too whenever possible, going back was hard - and after the first time it seemed harder - i dont know why but i had thought going back might help me escape grief - it did the opposite - but since then i have gone back a lot - i feel very close too him there now - perhaps what changes is that we do start to focus more on the happy memories of the place.Seeing other couples still brings a pang of sadness but again its something that we learn to live with - i dont think it will ever go away, but eventually accept that it is something that will always be part of us.Going back to counselling might be a good idea, I didnt think it was for me but stuck it out and it did become more helpful - it doesnt take away the pain and in the early days perhaps thats the miracle we expect of it - but it can certainly help to make sense of the emotional turmoil that grief brings.
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:hug: thanks Karena xxx