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I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Estherlyse. I don't know the circumstances of your brother's loss, but I would say that it is always hard to know what someone else is thinking or feeling and an untimely loss can leave us thinking we should somehow have known or been aware of the risk, but that is not always possible. And those we love, loving us also, sometimes hide their true feelings, thoughts and intentions more from those closest to them than anyone else because they don't want to hurt or disappoint us. Please don't be to hard on yourself. You may not have known what your brother was going through because that was how he wanted it to be. He will always be with you because he was a part of your life that you will always treasure. He lives on in your memories and will always take up some portion of your heart. Seeing a counsellor might help as talking can really help us understand our own feelings and help us see things another way. Take care of yourself. 

So sorry to hear about the loss of your dad, Mani. It is early days for you. It was a long time for me to start to feel anything like in control of my life and myself after losing my mum. I remember the first six months were terrible and it was a long hard slog over the next 18 months to fins a way forward at all. It does get better very slowly and the pace of change is different for everyone, so don't expect too much of yourself and just take things one day at a time.

I had questions after my mum died too and anxiety, I am sad to say, is part of the shock and devastation of loss. Loss is one of the hardest things we ever have to deal with and there is no right or wrong way to do that. I found it helped to speak to the doctors and find out more about why my mum became so severely ill so suddenly. She was gone six weeks later. Understanding did help. Doing something about things also helped, but at the end of the day, nothing can fill the void losing someone so close to you leaves behind and you simply learn slowly to live with the sadness and grief becomes a part of you. Over time, it does retreat into the backgound and the happier memories come to the fore again, but it is always there and so you have good days and bad, but you just have to try to find your way forward one day at a time. Try to be kind to yourself and do whatever makes that at all easier along the way and you gradually learn to iive your life again, but it is hard.

You are not alone. Everyone who has ever posted on this site, will know what you are going through, but we all eventually have to find our way forward. Talking really does help, so seek counselling if you can and don't be afraid to say whatever you want here. We will all relate to what you are feeling and someone will have some wise words to say that might help you too.

Wishing you well. 

So very sorry to hear you have lost both your parents at such young ages and in such a short time of one another. I think it is the hardest thing to lose someone so close to you and with the added responsibility of needing to be there for your young brothers, this burden must weigh even more heavily on you. Sadly, loss is such a momentous thing that I found I could never be the same old me again and had to get used to the person losing both my parents has made of me. Some days are harder than others and this time of year is harder than most also.

As many here will say, it's not a matter of getting 'over' it, but more a matter of learning to live with it and accepting that this has changed you and that you will not be the person you were anymore. Time does make it easier as acceptance sinks in, but the loss will always be part of you, but then so will all your happy memories of being together and this can help make you stronger. I find we carry those we have lost with us daily in our heart and much as we miss them, have to slowly move forwards, one day or one moment at a time. I am sure you will still hear the words of advice your pareents might have given you in your head when you need it.

Your world is changed and it can't change back, but you can move forward and learn how to be the new you on that road. As others have already said, we understand here just what you and your brothers are going through. Be kind to yourself and to eachother. Find the little things to do do that help you along it. Walking in the park, or having flowers around, looking at photos - whatever helps you. Maybe when you are all strong enough, make time to do something to remember your mum and dad together and celebrate the time you all had with them.

You can't shut out the loss, but you can make this easier on yourself by listening to your own needs and doing what helps you feel better, one step at a time.

Wishing you all well. 

I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your dad, it’s still early days for you , it takes time to process our loss before we can start to grieve properly,  you’ve a lot of firsts to go through before you start to feel as if you are starting to function properly again. But you will get their, and the good memories start to overtake the bad ones xx