BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: sweetmelissa on November 26, 2017, 02:12:46 AM
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Hello Everyone,
I am new here and this is my first post.
My mum died a week ago of a sudden cerebral hemorrhage. I am an only child and my dad passed away many years ago. Almost all of their extended families have also passed away and those left are unable to attend the funeral. Despite my husband and children I feel so totally alone and scared.
I did not see my dad's body after he died, and that was a decision I never regretted. I was comforted by the fact other family members did though. And I always felt I would never want to see my mum after her death too. But there is now no one else who can go - I do not want my husband to go as he found it very hard to see my dad and has always regretted going, as that is a memory he cannot erase from his mind. So there is only me and I feel I should, that I must, but I really, really don't want to. Well, I know nobody wants to but I have always had a bit of a phobia about dead bodies anyway, and feel so scared. I also have not yet cried, infact I feel nothing but fear and emptiness. I know it will hit at some point but I want to hold it together until after the funeral. I was up until 5am worrying about whether to go and visit, and am on track to do the same tonight. I really, really want to make the right decision for my mum, and for me.
Sorry for rambling.
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Sending a welcome hug :hug:
The decision to go and see them after they have died is a very personal one. I chose to go and see my dad and am glad I did. Some of that is connected to how I lost him. But like you say, others prefer not to. You need to make that decision based on how you feel. No-one can judge you for it, and remember your mum would want you to do what was best for you.
Their soul isn't there
There will be plenty of opportunity for you to visit the resting place afterwards, and we carry them with us in our memories. It's totally ok if you decide you don't want to visit her in this scenario :hearts: xx
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Emz is so right in what she says. It's a very personal decision, one that only you can make and there is no right or wrong choice. Do what feels right for you. You'll always know that you gave it careful thought and made what was the right decision for you, either way.