BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: Badger55 on March 17, 2017, 04:14:39 PM
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It is 17 days since I found my partner of 10 years (although I had known him for 30 years) dead from rupture of an aortic aneurysm. I have had compassionate leave from work, have been given beta-blockers, diazepam and zopiclone by my GP; and have eight sessions of counselling arrange for me through work. I am 55 and live alone. I have no parents, siblings or children to turn to; and no real close friends. I feel like I am living each day as a 24-hour anxiety attack. The feeling is so, so awful. I lost my mum suddenly 30 years ago, and remember how traumatic that was. That has all risen to the surface and compounded with my current nightmare. I know they say that time will heal, but, at present I cannot believe that. I suppose I have joined this forum as it would be good to know I am not currently alone. It is a living hell.
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Hello Badger55, my heartfelt condolences to you on your very new loss. I know how awful the grief you are feeling is. Coming here to 'let it all out' might help sometimes, it has got me through some very bleak times just knowing that I was 'talking' to people who understand.
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A welcome hug is on its way to you badger, i hope you can find some comfort amongst us x
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Thank you both for your reply. I feel utterly exhausted with it and it is in my head constantly. Is there anywhere I can go to get help with how I feel mentally about things?
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Perhaps in the first instance see your gp, see if they can refer you for counselling, not every gp practise has this facility but if not maybe can recomnend sonething xx
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Thanks Norma x
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it always helps to post here, sometimes by writing our feelings down and all the stuff thats spinning round in our head, can help make some sense and understand our emotions a little. Xx
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Hi Badger. Welcome to the forum. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
It really does help to write down your thoughts. I can remember the horrible early days when thousands of unrelated thoughts were flitting around my head, each staying there just long enough to register before being replaced by another. There was simply no time to process them all. Writing them down captured them and enabled me to start making sense of them.
In the early days I also found it extremely helpful to talk to the Samaritans when I was at my lowest. Just speaking to someone about feelings I couldn't talk to family or friends about somehow made them easier to cope with. It might be something you could think about trying.
At the risk of sounding cliched things do get easier with time but that doesn't mean we should struggle alone until they do.
Wishing you strength.
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Hi Hubby
Thanks for your post. Bereavement is a truly horrid thing. I lost my mum suddenly 32 years ago when I was 23, but cannot remember feeling as bad as do at present following loss of a partner in later life. I never considered Simon dying and it has hit me very, very hard indeed. I am experiencing nightmarish and distressing thoughts all day long and 24/7 anxiety. My GP has prescribe sertraline, which I have just started to take, and I am finding the counselling sessions through work helpful. I will accept any help I am being offered at present, and thank you for your suggestion of talking to the Samaritans, if I need to. That is very kind and helpful of you. Thank you.
Please be assure that you do not sound clichéd when you say things will get easier with time. I am talking to a few people I know about their experiences of loss and they are all reassuring me that this happens. It must have happened when I lost my mum, I just do not remember when.
I know that it is very, very early days for me still (the funeral is a week on Monday).
With much love
Badger
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:hug: on there way to you Badger and thoughts will be with you over the next week xx
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Hi Badger
Sorry for your loss. It sounds like you've had an awful shock as well as bereavement and probably have had to do a lot of admin, organise the funeral etc with not much help. My wife died 19 days ago but there was a long lead up which has its own issues. You might want to look at PTSD and see if there's anything there that rings true.
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I hope the funeral goes well - that is the worst time I had when my wife passed away - also unexpectedly. Counselling sessions I had four only via my GP helped. I go to a bereavement group at my local church - the vicar's wife gives us - about four to five people - a tea/coffee and listens to us. We find comfort listening to each other. You might try this. I am off to my session - it is once a week. You do not have to belong to the Church - here (Durham) it is open to anyone. Try it. Lots of hugs - I don't know how to insert the graphics.