BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: Jan on January 23, 2017, 06:38:31 PM
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Hi all . Im a newbie on here. . I sadly lost my father in oct 2016. He sufferd with heart failure. My 2 children lost a amazing grandfather. :cray:
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Sending a welcome hug :hug: xx
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Welcome Jan, i hope you can find the support you need xx
:hug:
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Hello Jan and welcome.
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Thankyou so much for your welcomes and kind words. it means so much to me . Ive been feeling lost lately ... joining this forum will hopefully put things into perspective and help me to understand my feelings better. And learn to stop feeling guilty that i wasnt with him in his final moments . Even though i had moved in with him to look after him. I know for sure though he isnt in any pain now. I have lost other family members in the past , but my fathers death has been a challenge to say the least . We were very close , even though i had my own family ...dad was everything to us all...
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Welcome. Jan.I think every grief is different and its a bit of a shock when the pattern you accept goes with it changes.Guilt is very common though,what if I did or said something different,but if you try and turn it round you will often find that the alternative option might also have created a reason to feel guilty too,in a way.I don't know the whole of it but it could even be that your dad chose to slip away when you left the room,as a parent none of us want to put our kids through more pain than they have to experience and rightly or wrongly make the decision purely through love.I am certain my mum did that,and knowing I wasn't going to leave perhaps my husband waited until other family members arrived so I would have support.I don't know but that's what I feel.
I was determined my grandchildren would remember their grandad a couple were very young and three born since then.But I have heard the older one telling the young ones about him,so he does live on in that way.
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Welcome to the forum Jan. I am sorry to hear if your loss
As Karena says guilt is very common in grief. It's normal to have thoughts as to how things could have been different. In reality we did what we could at the time without the benefit of the hindsight we have now.
Wishing you strength
:hug:
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Welcome. ent and its a bit of a shock when the pattern you accept goes with it changes.Guilt is very common though,what if I did or said something different,but if you try and turn it round you will often find that the alternative option might also have created a reason to feel guilty too,in a way.I don't know the whole of it but it could even be that your dad chose to slip away when you left the room,as a parent none of us want to put our kids through more pain than they have to experience and rightly or wrongly make the decision purely through love.I am certain my mum did that,and knowing I wasn't going to leave perhaps my husband waited until other family members arrived so I would have support.I don't know but that's what I feel.
I was determined my grandchildren would remember their grandad a couple were very young and three born since then.But I have heard the older one telling the young ones about him,so he does live on in that way.
thankyou for such helpful advise. Yes i too believe that our loved ones do live on in our children .thankyou xxx