BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: VCWH2018 on July 16, 2018, 03:13:38 PM
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My mother passed away unexpectedly less than two months ago and I know it is very soon and still very raw and painful. However I am particularly worried about my father. He's a typical man of his generation- unused to and very reluctant to discuss his feelings but I can see how devestated he is over her loss. they had been school sweethearts and he is frankly utterly lost without her. He lives some distance from me so I cannot be with him though I spent the first 3.5 weeks with him and have tried to get to him 1 or 2 a week since returning to work. but it is a 2 hour round trip to get to him.
My mum was the more gregarious one, he has few friends but the biggest issue seems to be that he not only feels lost but that he is extremely reluctant to reach out to anyone - myself included. as he doesn't want to "bother anyone or to be a bother". he has expressed a desire to "hopefully die within the next 6 -12 months".
Are there any Widowers' groups out there which I could recommend? I think he needs to speak to other men who have been through this
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Sending you a welcome hug :hug:
2 months is no time atall. It's really difficult, especially from being together so long. I know a close older friend of mine really struggled after losing his wife, took him time to come around to going for some therapy which helped him immensely, although I know alot of bereavement counselling tends to wait a few months (from the shock etc I guess)
I dont know of any widowers groups, but some of our members here may know or have suggestions. Would he speak to his Dr?
Its such a hard time trying to support someone whilst grieving yourself :hearts: xx
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Hi - wind the clock back 2 years and I was in the same situation as your dad. Not only was I totally destroyed by the loss of Chris but almost daily I saw how much my daughters were huirting both from the loss of their mother but also by what they could see it was doing to me. It really is devastating for everyone. Have you told him about this forum? It's a 'safe place' to come and talk or even just 'lurk' for a while and see that there are lots of people in the same situation.
As fsr as you're concerned - be prepared to accept that your dad will never be the same again. Hopefully he'll eventually find a new peace which you'll accept :smiley: