BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: GHOST on January 21, 2018, 08:42:59 PM
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Hi,
My wife died today suddenly from the Flu virus that is going round the UK hospitals and as you may guess I'm devastated, she died at 5am and we live out in a very rural area with just my wifes 86yr old father living approx 6 miles away no other family. I'm not even sure why i have joined the forum so quickly but needed to talk to someone, I had to give up work 20 years ago due to health probs and also have severe anxiety issues. I have been sitting here trying to work out what to do next regarding funeral etc and have to phone the hospital tomorrow to arrange a death certificate and hopefully find out what to do next. Sorry if i come across like a village idiot but when you have never had to deal with a funeral its pretty overwhelming as many others on here would agree?.
Its 8.30pm and it feels like 11.30pm I guess it will get easier in time but i have never felt so helpless in my life.....I am 55 and my wife was 62 in this Jan way too young for anyone to die.
Anyway I am sorry if i haven't introduced myself correctly on here and I please excuse my ignorance of what many people do daily (dealing with deaths) but I am heartbroken.
Bye
Brian
ps my beautiful wife was called Ruth RIP Ruthie I will love you forever
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Sending a welcome hug :hug: bereavement is a bewildering journey, one we are not taught about and have to work out/find our way through the grief rollercoaster.
You are amongst people who understand, and no question or thought is a silly one xx
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Hi Brian.
As Emz said it is a long bewildering journey that none of us are really prepared for.I googled bereavement help one desperate night after losing my husband and luckilly found this site which has helped a great deal.
I am now a lot further down the road but just having somewhere to write things down and where there are people who understand the pain of grief because they are on the same journey is important.
The hospital will give you a leaflet explaining some of the things you need to do, usually the more legal stuff and if they dont your GP surgery may have some. also the yougov website has the same information.
Once you contact a funeral director they will guide you through the process of arranging a funeral, but of course consult with you about what you want -the vicar/priest/ officiator of the service may also come round and visit so they can get some information for what they are going to say -things about her life -what she was like -maybe some happy memories etc.
Although you have no relations except her dad his age and the wisdom that comes through that can be a source of comfort and if you have a good relationship mutual support is good. -maybe she also had friends who would be able to give you at least some practical support.
No one thinks you are the village idiot -and dont worry about where you write things here, we can always guide you with stuff like that -it isnt important in the big picture of things.For now the only real advise i can offer is take everything one step, one hour, one day at a time.But do keep using this site, we will be here for you as long as you need us. :hug:
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Hi,
Thanks for your kinds words and it nice to know there is a place I can talk about issues, Ruth died within 8hrs of coming home and today found out it was a blood clot in her lungs combined with the flu virus she didn't stand a chance and was fit and healthy the day before.....last night was really bad as our 5 month old Havanese puppy Rory has been sitting in her chair whimpering (he's still at it) we are certainly going to miss Ruth, to cap it all my blood pressure was so high blood vessels burst in my nose and my blue shirt was soon red for 80mins so today i went to my GP (first time EVER on my own thanks to my panic attacks) and he gave me an injection to lower my bp and put me on antibiotics and hopefully i can try and sort out the funeral etc (we go to collect the death certificate tomorrow).
I was reading some of the other posts on this forum and how the hell people have coped with such terrible stuff is amazing and it looks like time may be a healer.
Forgot to mention while at the doctors I had to wait 30mins in the waiting room and 4 different people came in and were discussing my Ruth and all were shocked and none of them new her husband was sitting 5ft away....its such a small village they all knew her but thanks to myself being a virtual recluse i was invisible and i said to myself I will try and conquer my fears and maybe one day they will get to know their friends husband and i can share some of our happy tales we had over the years?
Thanks again for letting me join the forum and hopefully make some friends and help each other if possible.
Bye
Brian
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Hello Brian, I saw your post yesterday and as I so often do now, I started typing a reply and then gave up without posting. I know that nothing I say can make things easier for you and being over two years 'down the line' myself I also know that it's a long painful road with lots of ups and downs. I also know that having somewhere to come and 'let it all out' can help as does knowing that everyone understands. My heartfelt sympathy goes out to you.
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Hi Brian and hi again longededge.It is a long journey i dont know we ever reach the end of it -but the worst times get fewer and you learn to recognise that it isnt permanant and make the most of the better times between -if that makes any sense.
Brian that must have been awful for you not being recognised but also in a way affirmation that your wife was very much loved and will be missed not just by yourself but by others although in a different way of course.
I was also very much the quieter -Keith was much better at socialising than me -and i was happy to be in the background, not confined too the house i always worked but in a fairly solitary job, both my girls had recently moved away and i was completely lost without him. There are someprops i have discovered too help overcome social anxiety too a level, -but that is very much for the future. Right now just try and focus on getting through the here and now. :hug:
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Hi Brian, I can identify with everything you are going through and for it to be so unexpected must be even more devastating. I am also in the early stages of grief. I was also the quieter more reserved one in the partnership. Support is the best thing you can get at the moment doesn't really matter where it comes from and sometimes it doesn't even feel like its helping much but it does it just needs to sink in. You will repeat yourself many times, have different emotions at different times. You will ask yourself so many questions but not get any answers - at least none you can use.
I came on here today to post how it is the funeral in two days and how lost and alone I was feeling - saw your post and thought I would offer empathy and reinforce what the others are saying. Theres no rule book - just look after yourself.
Pam
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Thank you for sharing, it is always lovely to share and get to know each other and there's plenty to be proud of there. I'm an ex-biker myself and loved hearing about the chocolate designs
What a wonderful thing with the buns and soup :-) and I think it's a wonderful goal to have, to connect with people in the village, something to work towards and a way of sharing beautiful memories. That will certainly help on your grief journey at the right time. Grief is a rollercoaster journey, some days will be especially hard so be gentle with yourself. Some days you will feel ready to make a step towards that goal, however big or small a step towards it and other days allow yourself some extra TLC. Throughout all, this group will be here :hearts: xx
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Hey Brian - you waffle away as much as you like mate. Just from what you've written I already feel that I know you. I hope you're able to overcome your shyness and being reserved, it sounds as if you've been blessed with some caring neighbours - I think it will be very important in times to come for you to make contact with people. Loneliness is a terrible thing. I know things are very different legally up there but my experience here where I live in Derbyshire was that the Registrar was very helpful in providing guidance. You've hardly had a chance for it to sink in yet - I wish you strength my friend.
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Brian you will still be in shock. Please realise this and take care of yourself.
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I had lovely neighbours, but had to move out of the village for financial reasons very quickly
-It made sense to move where i worked and where i grew up -but unfortunately this place has become very different - no longer a farming village but second home/retirement/country living style and completely lacking in community spirit - but your community sounds like my former one was which was lovely.Perhaps you could repay the kindness of the soup and buns with hand made easter eggs or similar.
I used to be into bikes too -although breaking my back coming off one ended that -but i still love to see them and hearing the engine of an old BSA or Triumph always has me looking round. I now work as a graphic designer -paid work for a software company -but, dumb as i am, it took a while to work out how i could use the skills to support some of the causes i care about and because its all digital now doesnt have to involve having loads of cash or overcoming social anxiety to meet people all the time, but too a level inadvertantly has done. If you have a role rather then just be a visitor i find it is easier. Perhaps your chocolate skills could in the future lead to integration and overcoming some of your shyness.
This morning i watched an interview with Rod Gilbert -the comedian -he is bringing out a new programme about shyness -i was really suprised to hear he can stand on a stage in front of thousands yet has too work hard to summon up courage to go into a coffee shop.
I have found wildlife priceless in helping me get through this journey and combatt loneliness, you are never really alone when surounded by it even when devoid of human company.I am lucky that my garden is completely private so i can do what i like. -It is very much geared to wildlife and food growing - so learning,about permaculture - again online has created some social contacts over time and i have been recently asked to design a community garden (for a community away from this one)
But it does all take time and on the way you will find yourself stumbling about in the dark -going back where you started from and taking the wrong paths before you start to connect the right ones.
waffling is good -knowing about each other is good -and no-one would mistake you for a village idiot, but even if you were one the compassion and care here applys too all. :hug:
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Wow, love the sound of your wildlife! I'm being trained by the local birds, I have quite a flock that arrive each day for feeding, a Robin, sparrows, starlings, magpies, jackdaws (I think!) and a couple of doves. I'm sure there are other birds in the group too but I'm still learning to identify them. If I dare to step into the garden they all zoom to the apple tree and shout at me lol :-) has become a lovely routine in my life now, feeding them first thing in the morning and watching them a few minutes before my coffee xx
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Oh wow i love the sound of your tazmanian devil.I had our dog but he has sadly passed on now -but he was always more Keiths dog than mine as keith was at home with him all day.Trying to get him to realise that i was his new pack leader wasnt always easy but the grief was something we shared and i spent many hours just walking to try and clear my head with him by by side.(he was probably thinking why cant i just go back to bed thanks very much)I,m a point and shoot photographer but one thing i have found to help me get over soem social awkwardness is that sometimes a camera validates your presence somewhere (i know we shouldnt need to feel we have to be validated but i do) and also focussing on a narrow subject helps you to forget about other people being around. as a result i have some strange collections -the radiators,running boards and chrome lights of vintage cars, and the gable ends of manchester city buildings are two such cases.
Music i am also quite ecclectic there isnt much in terms of genre i dont like (with a couple of exception)cant match you with the wood carving though Keith used to do wood turning but i,m probably not some-one who should be let loose with a sharp chisel given i,m a bit accident prone.
I,m glad you are getting on with things slowly it a huge mountain to have to climb so slow steps and plenty of rest in between. :hug:
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I know the area you are.Gatehouse of fleet was my childhood holiday destination.We used to hire a caravan at Auchenlaurie near gatehouse of fleet.It is very beautiful.
I would like a faster camera but as you say they are heavy and with digital write times even ith a fast card it would have to be top of the range I imagine.My point and shoot isn't too bad though good zoom and some manual options.Phone is ok for scenery and suprisingly good nightime function but has no zoom.
I have a lot of pictures of the sea on the camera where I missed the dolphins but i got too the point I stopped trying because it took away the magic of the moment.While looking through the camera where one was you don't see the other one on the other side of the boat.
I chuckled at your story of Ruth leading the rally she sounds like a remarkable and fun lady.
I once got caught up in a road protest when foot and mouth was on.They were slow driving then turning round and going back.I had no idea I assumed as I left town that the traffic was stopped due too an accident so took a back road hoping to get round it.Hen I got back too the main road it was still queued up but someone kindly let me out.When we got too the village people were lining the road clapping and the police were directing the turn round so I couldn't even escape but had to head back down again.My daughter who was with me was a teenager then and laying low in the passenger seat embarrassed her mates would see her but she change her tune when she went back to school and got told her mum was the ultimate in cool for being a protester.( I didn't tell her until years later about my student days of intended protest)
I am glad you are getting some help sorting things out :hug:
As for the owls they are such special birds too me .I always think they are bringing us a message of hope and encouragement ( nothing to do with Harry Potter but a much more ancient thing)
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The owl is truly stunning! You are very talented :-)
And please dont reduce what you type about, the forum is here for all sorts of chat and I for one am really enjoying learning about things with you xx
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Wow I love your owl .Think with that srt of skill you would be wasted on a " so called proper job"
Auchenlaurie wasn't massive back then but not the smallest around..I remember there was a farm just across the road where they did pontrecking and ever since often a barn dance.I think I could just about manage the Gaye Gordon's now but would only do so after a lot of ribena. but the rest I have no idea how to do.My mum used to know them all and taught me but then teenage years and my discovery of Northern soul,flares and platform shoes came along which diverted me away from that kind of stuff .( how on Earth did we ever dance in those shoes)
I did think about doing a green wood carving course but didn't get round too it but I agree wood is very calming I do love trees and forests.But when I get a log for the stove that has a beautiful bark or shape I tend to make it a decorative garden feature rather than burn it.Also coppice a hazel in the garden for pea sticks etc.I also have a Deadwood fence round the area I grow veg that was fun to build as well as log piles for frogs etc
Don't worry about rambling it's good to talk about everyday stuff as well as bereavement as not having anywhere to do that is a big part of missing them and coping with being alone.If you look on the list of sections on the main page you will see we have a section called everyday chat because it's important to have that.
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Thankfully stigma is changing on mental health, the mental health foundation is doing alot of work to raise awareness and encourage people to talk. I'm dealing with my anxiety and panic attacks at the moment, it's not nice. :hearts:
Love the craft club idea. I always find making stuff and hobbies a good therapy for anxiety - and getting to know the group will be really good too. When you're ready
There's some sayings that a Robin is a loved one visiting. I've had several close encounters with a Robin since I lost my dad - one landed just an arms length from me when I was filling the peanut feeders ages ago - they're so cute with alot of attitude :-) xx
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We had a tame robin at the old house -I found hime lierally frozen too a path -thawed him out in a box in the shed and fed him for a few days then left the shed door open so he could leave when he chose -he stayed around the shed going in and out as he chose then disapeared-only to re-appear the next winter -i knew it was the same one because he had a dark patch on his chest where the replacement feathers he grew after being stuck never grew back red.Over then next couple of years he brought fledglings too our feeders and though nothing of coming into the house given half a chance -he even used to tap on the window if we were late getting up.There was a picket fence at the front of the house he used to do a little dance on -picturing him dancing up and down on that fence was where i focussed my mind during parts of the funeral to keep from breaking down.
After i moved i was working away in the new garden. So many of those days was spent in blind misery but on this day i was suddenly aware of a robin singing so loudly i couldnt ignore it and at the same time could feel the sun on my back and a touch of happiness in my heart -it only lasted a few minutes but it became a pivotal turning point -because just for that moment i had re-engaged with the world and it was something to build on. It would be over romantacising to think it was the same robin -i didnt even see it, but that doesnt really matter.
I am fairly certain the famiily at the farm ran the pony trecking back then as a sideline and were local and scottish -It must have been long before the days of the brazillian
I,m from the dales too - the sunday biker meetups at kirby lonsdale still happen and there is another place on the A59 between Skipton and Bolton Abbey called route 59 cafe which also welcomes bikers -although how on earth they fit so many bikers into such a small cafe i dont know.
I like Malham but Gordale scar and Janets Foss are my favourite spots round there rather than Malham cove.
I did go for the church choice for the funeral but this one is very old on a lay line and on a former pagan site and has a feeI of something much more ancient and embedded in the natural world than anywhere else i could have chosen - but the funeral should absolutely be your choice -it is about Ruth and her life , rather than other peoples traditional ideas.The formatt of keiths funeral was about the things he loved, the vicar at the time wasnt a traditionalist (he sang in a rock group) There were raised eyebrows in some quarters but thats ok each too their own.
I think the craft group would be a good place to start when you are ready to reach out to people.And Emz is right, there is more understanding now -you might be suprised how many people have the same feelings of panic in a supermarket myself included -but i have only just "come out" about my anxiety too anyone outside this site, and mentioned it last week too some-one else who i didnt know but told me she has panic attacks but only ever in supermarkets.The person on the other side of her then said he is ok until he gets too the checkout but then starts getting overwraught -his solution was to add up his shopping and have the exact money ready in advance as it was fear of holding up the queue that was driving this.
We live under this kind of veneer in which business as usual is seen to be the greatest importance,have a society in which convenience is built around that but it seems to me that the modern world can be really very toxic too our mental as well as physical health.
RE the green wood course -i had plenty to hand at the time, and i had seen some pictures of a branch with owls carved out -again garden stuff -and just thought it would be nice to learn how to do it.I dont think i have a great need for wooden spoons either though.
I think the craft group would be a good place to start when you are ready to reach out to people.
Long story with the owl connection - but last night i couldnt sleep, got up went outside for a smoke -not a sound except the wind,then came back in made a cup of tea and set off back up stairs as i got too the landing i said (too the empty air) you didnt even send me a hoot. Put the tea down went into the bathroom -taking less than 30 seconds and i heard an owl -just one call -but it felt like a reply.
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I have always loved art & craft, and I seem to collect craft hobbies now lol :-) I love to draw, recently I started having a go at cartoon style drawing, normally I would draw things I can see (still life etc, have drawn a motorbike, last year an eye), oil painting (nature scenes), origami, jewellery making, work with clay (including silver metal clay). Just before Christmas I made flowers out of wire and nail varnish.
I am also learning to make clothes on my sewing machine - very slowly, but enjoying learning :-) xx
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Bizare as it sounds given i work as a graphic designer i have never been able to draw much as i would like too - i think its hand eye co-ordination which is less of an issue on a computer, but on the other hand i could do embroidery -and not just cross stitch kits but more creative abstract stuff from my own. (i could also see to thread a needle back then )quilting is another used to for the same reason.I taught myself to crohet though a couple of years back.
Good luck with the sewing machine Emz -they really hate me so i spend more time re-threading and unpicking and then trying to resore my calm than i would have if i did it by hand to start with. :rofl:
I do know both those places Brian theyre a bit over commercial now - but we used to go picking bilberrys there and How stein also has "organised activitys" now but still stunning out of season. Gordale definitely does have an amazing feel about it when the day trippers have gone.There is camp site at the bottom there -the owner is, to put it very politely, a bit of a character, but the site is brilliantly located for early morning exploring, and then an evening dip in Janets Foss below it.
I have a hen pheasant hanging around at the moment and have started accidently spilling some bird food where she hangs out -i suspect as theyre normally up on the moors it is related to shooting season and she has managed to fly off and escape -i hope she has the sense to hang round for just a couple more days now until its closed season again.
I love it when nature comes too us. I,m sure your strutting pheasants have remebered where there is a soft touch.
There was a duck in our croft at the old house that used to attack you if you went anywhere near it then one morning i was hanging the washing out and the dog was stood stock still growling and staring at the pond and there in the middle was the duck with a dozen chicks. She didnt hang around very long a couple of days and luckilly the daft dog was scared of water, but he had to be kept under careful supervision in case she came on land -he would have had them given the chance so just as well she didnt decide it was home.
She took them down too the stream opposite and was later spotted by some-one else, heading for the river -but only 8 chicks in tow by then- we searched the bank but no sign of the missing ones they arnt the best mothers in the world.
We also had a nest right over the door that spotted flycatchers returned too every year.When Keith died i clung on too the house longer than i could afford partly because of them as there was a nest full of babys in the viginia creeper that the landlord had been heard to say was getting chopped so that cost me three months rent to stay until they had fledged.They were worth it though -amazing to watch them catching flys and funny to watch them dive bomb and narrowly miss anyone who came too the door.
I hope today wasnt as bad as you were dreading Brian. :hug:
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On the topic of sewing I'm very excited/happy that I have managed to finish my first ever item of clothing! A pair of pyjama bottoms! Nothing extravagant but I'm pleased to make an item of clothing that can be worn! :-) xx
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Hi Brian
Just to say I did post on one of my threads how much I loved your Tasmanian Devil. I have two motley muts and have fostered/adopted many more in my time. Sadly all gone now.
I hope your meeting with the funeral director was not too distressing for you, they are sympathetic and very caring but when its so hard to think and theres so much to do, and whats more its all stuff you don't want to do. Just do what you need to focus on, one thing at a time and then put that to bed. Go off, walk the dog, do some carving or photography to distract yourself. Eat well and try to relax. Wish I could do the crafts, my hobby is/was gardening and theres not much call for that at the moment.
Sending you peace of mind as best as I can.
Pam
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Oh, the hours that Chris spent sewing, and the money it cost me when a new model of machine came out! Bernina must have made a fortune out of me :smiley:. We first met when we were 16/17 and she made all her own clothes, even made shirts and occasionally trousers for me. She was never happier than when she was making something. I even got roped in sometimes when she was quilting (making paper templates). About the only thing that I've got left now is a drawstring bag for my camera tripod, oh and all the curtains and bedding in the house :smiley:.
Your theory about anybody being able to learn crafts is suspect as far as I'm concerned Brian. I am living proof of the fact that you've either got it or you haven't and I found that out many years ago when my eldest daughter was about 5 years old and sat drawing one rainy day. She drew me and I drew her - after that I refused to do any more drawing with her!!
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well done Emz.
I have been known to make costumes -which are wearable -but never normal clothes, well not since i made a sundress at school There is probably nothing "normal" about a 70,s hippy style sundress now though. :rofl:
Longedge it isnt that you cant do crafts you just havnt found the right one.My gran spent a lot of time trying to teach me too knit but the only thing i ever finished was a baby cardigan -not entirely sure what went wrong but when the baby i knitted it for was two it fit her.You would think crochet is the same but i was sat on a camp site chatting with friends and one of them was managing to chat, consume copious amounts of wine and crochet all the way through in the twighlight without error so i got her to show me the basics and googled the rest. I have to say though my gran would not have been very impressed. In her world there was a hieracrchy or yarncrafts and crochet was at the bottom.She used to do something called tatting which was very complicated -thin threads and lots of shuttles from memory -i dont think i have the required attention span for that either.
Brian having the flu doesnt help of course but this whole grief process is exhausting and that goes for people who were formerly very confident,so even more so for you - so well done on what you have achieved with sorting things.I can only really repeat take small steps and rest -and if resting for you is getting out into the woods and watching the birds thats what you do. :hug:
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Flowers sound beautiful :hearts: xx
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It's good that you've got Rory Brian, has he had a haircut before? Ours used to turn into a vicious little demon at the sight of the scissors. Even with me holding her she seemed to be abl;e to turn around in her skin somehow and snap at them. As far as crafts are concerned, I used to knit (on a machine) sometimes but only simple things. I knitted the dogs tail into the machine one day coz she always wanted to sit on your knee :rolleyes:.
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Had to look "intarsia" up (patterns made with multiple colours) :smiley:. My inexpert explanation = knitting is just making a series of connected loops in yarn. The machine had a bed of perhaps 150ish needles with a little catch built into the round end of each one. As you pass the head across the needles each one pops up and through the previous row of knitting and pulls a loop of the yarn through so each time you pass the head from one side to the other you add another row of knitting. When you need to do anything fancy like casting off you shout for the boss to come and do it :smiley:.
Lovely idea to make and donate something in memory of Ruth by the way.
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:smiley: "an art or technique of decorating a surface with inlaid patterns, especially of wood mosaic, developed during the Renaissance. "
P.S. I know you're interested in photography - have you got a good view of the moon this evening? I tried a few photos but totally disastrous!
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It's a blue moon tonight :smiley:. Close to earth and full as well. I was trying hand held (steadied on door frame). I have a Panasonic GH3 with the 14-140mm lens. Trouble is that there are far better results online than anything I can manage :smiley:.
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Love the idea of a trophy :-) something that will last and be loved by many
Oh George I really laughed at the knitted dogs tail! :rofl: thats the type of scrapes I'd imagine any of my dogs getting into! My current dog, lurcher, doesnt have hardly any fur so he'd be safe from knitting, but my springer spaniel would have!
My nan used to have one of those knitting machines, I remember me, my nan and mum all trying to work out how to get it to started, picking up the wool :-) I can just about knit with needles - only scarves though (can't change widths lol!)
Feel envious about both of your photography skills - would love to be able to photo the moon. I'm fascinated by the moon/planets and would love to have a look at them through a telescope, I did sign up for an event once where people who knew what they were doing would have telescopes etc so people could see but it was cancelled due to cloudy weather. I must have a look whether there are any groups about which would allow a newbie to have a look, haven't seen any other events
Hope everyones day is kind to them. Im struggling with anxiety this week, going to have a cuppa catchup with a good friend (he used to be my boss when I was about 18), looking forward to talking things through with him xx
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what a lovely idea Brian and a really good way for you to start to become more integrated.
My mum had one of those machines -it was a manual one -my role was too put the skeins of wool over the back of the chair then wind it into a ball -the machine had a winder on it and the ball was then held in asome kind of cup.But the thing was so tempremental, swish too fast or two slow or dont push down to apply exactly the right weight and all the stiches came off.Now you have got me wondering whatever happened too it (and hoping she gave it away and its not festering in the loft somewhere waiting for me to deal with)
Pointy sticks -techically knitting needles -there is a bag of those somewhere too - too free to good home.
So many times i have gone off onto the moors complete with camera and flask to see the northern lights or persoids that are predicted only to be thwarted by clouds.Then at a campervan meet in cumbria everyone was going to get up at 4am when some meteors were due - i was the only one who did get up -and there it was clear sky no light pollution perfect -thatll teach them to stay in bed - and i saw - precisely nothing.
So as usual last night i looked at where the moon should be- and it wasnt there.
I did get some photos of a supermoon in the past once -and like you, discovered how much it is actually moving -but unbelievably the best one of the lot was on the mobile phone i was slagging off earlier on this thread.
Hope you are feeling better Emz. :hug:
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Lovely photo of Mr. Fox Brian, I regularly pick up a fox on my security camera when he is snuffling around my front garden during the night. I also get hedgehogs and cats triggering the camera.
I said GH3 when I meant GH4 :smiley: . I had another go at the moon this evening because it was so clear and bright. UInfortunately, ill health has prevented me getting much use out of my camera since I bought it but I keep having a little dabble :smiley: :-
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I hope that your arrangements all go well by the way. I well remember the stress of arranging Chris' funeral. It might be that the weeks/months afterwards are the hardest and I hope that you get some support then (I've said it before but I think the forum is missing a "ManHug" icon :smiley: )
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To be honest I've been thinking about selling my kit off. My mobility is extremely limited and it's never going to improve :rolleyes:. I've dabbled since the 1960's when I also tried some macro stuff (reversed lens) . At that time I developed/printed my own B&W and also had a go at developing colour but only 35mm transparencies.
I didn't do more than family snaphots after I became interested in computers in the late 1980's, still my major interest. I'm afraid I've always been the same - know a little bit about a lot of things :smiley:. I never had enough real interest to warrant joining a club.
p.s. - Yes I like the Urchin photo. You've got the lighting spot on and the glass sheet work well. The sort of thing that I'd probably spoof in post!
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I, m not entirely certain what the difference between a man hug and a woman hug is -perhaps more back slapping, and shoulder squaring (lol) Lovely photos though - i use macro a lot - usually flowers or unusual things like the ripples on bark. I tell myself it because they are great as backgrounds for work stuff but mainly its becasue i love to focus on those things less obvious than a view - but still yelling of natures beauty.
Brian Mazda bongo and Ford freda (actually one and the same depending on where they were imported from ) are mainly automatics come in 2wd or fixed 4wd petrol or diesel. with or without camping converstions, with or without raising roofs access too a very good support forums and group meets if you fancy company, (nice people all ags) and more reliable and affordable then VW.One of the beautys is that although they are longer they are no wider than the average car so great for accessing narrower roads -so many times in Wales when we camped people would turn up on site with a vast motorhome but then be unable too explore the area in them.(you might think i,m trying to sell something here -get the sales girl act ) so next paragraph
My Mazda bongo has a raising roof (that i dont actually raise anymore as there is plenty of room for one downstairs, and its warmer and doesnt rock in the wind if the roof is down )-no converstion -which was a decision we made based on spending the money we had available on the vehicle rather than the aesthetics -plan was we would do that later and too fit our needs rather than a bog standard one -but we never go round too that.
I,ve just got a set up behind the rear seat under the tailgate which is fine for just me -mine also has the original 3 rows of seats -all of them go flat to create a double bed but you can vary them so you can find the best way too suit you, i now go for single (with space for one of the more necessary things required for ladies of a certain age who dont want to be running round looking for a bush in the early hours) hiden under a camping table. For book and light to stand on.With all seats in place it becomes a people carrier - and with rear bench seat folded up a really good van space. Its a pleasure to drive (turbo on the autogears and meaty engine.
I have a drive away awning if i,m taking the kids so bikes,swingball etc and the necessary item can go in there also bad weather cooking space for more than one. But as the eldest grandson has now outgrown the bunk across the front cab and requires privacy these days i can throw a small ent in there for him.
Most of the time though its just me and the van -and in case you havent got it yet -i absolutely :hearts: love it. sadly i am now at the point of holding my breath at MOT time as its rusting -(it is 23 years old) only real drawback is the mpg which is around 30 -but i dont usually go tht far and replacing her with a mere car isnt an option.
I would love too see your pictures - could you send the link by private message though, as we,re not supposed to post links on the forum - i know yours it isnt a commercial site or anything like that - and of no harm at all - but the no links all round rule helps too keep this place safe from outside stuff that can be harmful at worst, or simply give the impression we are related too commerical interests which can be off putting.
(and it frees us admins up more time to rattle on about our camper vans instead of chasing and checking out links :rofl:)
I have now got about an hour to prepare a report for Mondays monthly meeting at work - so i suppose i had better get on with it So far my mind is :blank:
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