BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: dizzylizzy on August 15, 2017, 10:27:24 PM
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I really thought I was doing ok. Now I think I am stuck. 18 months exactly on Friday since my mum, my best friend, died quite unexpectedly- my little girl's 2nd birthday. I still can't believe I'll never see my mum. I thought I was starting to accept it. Then this week I feel demented again. The sadness inside my is still agony. Is this normal?
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Hi
So sorry to hear you are having such a hard time :( I do think it's normal though :( I am 17 months on from losing my dad very suddenly. He was only 60. Sometimes I think I'm doing ok and other times I feel like I'm going mad. I just miss him so much. I have started taking anti depressants and for me personally that has helped to balance out how I am feeling. Have you told anyone else how you feel? I'm so sorry you are facing this :( xxx
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I've not really opened up but I have mentioned my low mood to my gp. I hide it as I feel I am a burden now, although I think my grief is showing itself in other ways - I'm crabbit, tearful and have generally unstable moods swings. I had a contraceptive implant fitted a two months ago and spoke to doc about getting it removed as I explained I had been struggling and feelin much more 'hormonal' since I got it. It's coming out next week and I'm sure if I still feel after that then I'll see where I'm at. Thankyou for replying and I so sorry your dad has died. It's terrible this grief. some days I just feel back at square 1 but I guess it is a process. I know I'm upset because I link my mum's death with my daughter turning 6 months. When she turns two on Friday, as well as being happy it is drumming home to me how much mum has missed. If I'm not feeling better in another month I'm going to seek counselling x
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I found it was a rollercoaster of emotions. The first year was hard, sometimes feeling had taken a step forward, then two steps back. For a while I couldn't recognise myself and the way i was reacting. The second year brought different challenges. I think society makes us believe all will be ok after the firsts, but it takes longer than that.
Its just over 4 years now for me, since I lost my dad suddenly just after his 59th birthday. I can say gradually over that time it has become easier to cope. I still get times when I feel down, anniversaries or certain memories but I also remember more happy memories too now :hug: xx
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Thankyou for replying. It makes me feel better knowing what I am feeling is not unusual. I read on the NHS site that after 18 months it usually is less at the forefront so I think I've been expecting it to suddenly stop hurting as much as putting pressure on myself to not feel sad anymore. Xx