BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM

Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: LisaD on November 18, 2016, 08:41:10 PM

Title: Struggling
Post by: LisaD on November 18, 2016, 08:41:10 PM
I was a member here 8 years ago when I suddenly lost my darling husband Antony aged 41 and the support was amazing  My beautiful darling golden retriever, who was 7 at the time, got me through this terrible time.  I lost my darling boy 2 weeks ago & it feels like I am going through losing Antony all over again. I am so lost & the house is so quiet.  I am lost x
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Emz2014 on November 19, 2016, 09:38:51 AM
Sending a big hug  :hug:  keep talking with us, it's hard to lose a companion who has helped you through difficult times. Ive lost several over the years  :hearts: xx
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: pennyking on November 19, 2016, 08:59:52 PM
Welcome back to BUK.  This is the beauty of this site you can come and go as we please.  Sorry sorry to hear of the loss of your precious dog.  We are here for you Lisa.  Take care.  Penny x
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Hubby on November 19, 2016, 10:52:53 PM
Welcome back Lisa

I really feel for you. Since losing my wife my little dog has been a great comfort to me and I would be lost without him.

 :hug:
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Julie Magson on November 20, 2016, 04:06:37 PM
Aw Lisa- so sorry you have lost your darling doggie, they give us so much don't they :hug:
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Karena on November 20, 2016, 07:07:21 PM
 :hug: I have found myself in the same situation in the last few months,I think it does rekindle grief not just because of the shared memory's but because once again life has changed for worse ,I have become more reclusive as I don't see the point in walks on my own,coming home from work with no tail wagging welcome is difficult sometimes I find myself expecting him to be behind the door even now.I will though always be so grateful too him for giving ma a reason to get up and being by my side through the worst time.

Getting another isn't an option at the moment my heart can't stand any more stabbings,but I know through having him  that the love and trust and fidelity is a gift dogs give us and yet there are so many out there who have been met with neglect and abuse in return,so I am considering fostering.Basically dogs who have come into Kennels for a variety of reasons and who are suitable for different situations,good with children,other pets etc or even cover needed for emergency situations,owner hospitalised for example can be fostered temporarily.,which frees up space in kennels for those who have more specialised needs.They are returned or found a forever home but maybe by giving that temporary care i could end up giving the blessing i had from him to someone else.
I know its early days for you but perhaps something you might think about later.
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Julie Magson on November 21, 2016, 09:32:39 AM
We've always had rescue dogs, in fact I lost my last one while Alan was in hospital last year. I have that yearning for another dog but can't really look after myself properly yet and I worry about what if I'm ill one day and can't get a dog out. My neighbours aren't exactly 'neighbourly' not one person has knocked on the door while we've had heavy/thick snow, no one has sent over their youngster to clear my path for me and it's way too heavy for me to shift. I've checked on my elderly neighbour but nobody checks on me! Maybe I should take that as a compliment and they don't think of me as being elderly!  :wchair:
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Emz2014 on November 21, 2016, 01:32:04 PM
Ive only had brief periods when i haven't had a dog. My dogs have gotten me through some really tough times and its been heartbreaking when having to say the goodbyes, I totally empathise.  :hearts:  I have a mad lurcher now (he was a rescue) and he always cheers me up after a bad day at work

The animal sanctuary i homed him from are doing their Christmas shoebox appeal (donations of food and toys etc), took my donation to them yesterday and went round to say hi to all the dogs.  Surprised me to see they were mostly male dogs, only recall seeing one female dog.  In that sanctuary they are always looking for volunteers for people to walk or play with the dogs, do various tasks, do the laundry and cuddle time (apparently each dog takes turns coming out to where the laundry is done and have cuddles/interaction) maybe if anyone is feeling lonely or have time on their hands seeing if you have a local animal sanctuary who does something similar might be helpful? Some time out of the house and dogs (or cats if you prefer) always seem to improve things.  Good way of getting cuddles too

For anyone missing their dog companions and arent ready for another one just yet, have you thought about 'borrow my doggy'?  Kind of like a timeshare of a dog :-)  I've not used it but seems like a great idea of the benefit of a dog without the full time commitment :-) xx
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Hubby on November 21, 2016, 06:52:29 PM
Perhaps you could consider getting a dog that doesn't need much exercise Julie. Something like a King Charles or Bassett hound?
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Julie Magson on November 21, 2016, 06:59:42 PM
I'll see what next year brings for me Hubby- I have a few ongoing health problems too. We rescued a retired ex racing greyhound before this last one and they are ideal pets as long as their prey instinct isn't too strong- unfortunately Bud's was, and he was a nightmare to walk! But at all other times he was perfect, lovely temperament, walked perfectly as they are trained to do, (as long as nothing small and furry was around!)don't need much exercise and really are couch potatoes.
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Emz2014 on November 21, 2016, 08:57:22 PM
I almost had a greyhound, they are beautiful.  Ended up choosing my lurcher, believe he is a cross between greyhound and Labrador.  He does have a strong prey drive and is all muscle, he's knocked me over several times on walks  :shocked: xx
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Karena on November 21, 2016, 11:11:11 PM
 :hearts:shame we arnt neighbours Julie we could check on each other.seriously though I keep my mobile on me all the time after falling downstairs luckily not injuring myself badly,it made me think how long I might have to wait for help if I had hurt myself and couldn't reach the phone.
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Julie Magson on November 22, 2016, 02:10:02 PM
I often think it would be good to have a commune where we could all be near each other Karena!
Oh Emz I can imagine the strength in your dog, Bud once cut Alan's lip when he spotted a small furry dog and literally did somersaults in the air to try to get to it! He wrenched my wrist once too. Such a shame they have this drive  inbuilt in them.
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Karena on November 22, 2016, 06:11:18 PM
It would certainly be interesting Julie especially if anyone wanted to keep small furry animals.My daughter came up with an interesting question today about moving with a large fish and an extremely very large fishtank.Good point perhaps fish are not so convenient either.
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Julie Magson on November 22, 2016, 06:28:01 PM
We moved goldfish from one house to another once and the tidal wave created was something else!  :shocked:
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Emz2014 on November 23, 2016, 09:13:11 AM
How are you doing Lisa?  :hug: xx
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Julie Magson on November 23, 2016, 09:48:54 AM
Hello Lisa- sorry, your post seems to have been hi jacked by animals somehow.
Still thinking about you and wondering you are today?
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Karena on November 23, 2016, 05:55:13 PM
This is a parrot cichlid,it arrived in a jug,has outgrown two tanks and is now about 8inches long,it certainly won't be leaving in a jug.  :rofl:
Title: Re: Struggling
Post by: Hubby on November 24, 2016, 08:44:31 PM
The trick is to seal them in a bag with lots of air space and put the bag on something waterproof with a lid.