BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: Coralloss on February 23, 2017, 10:24:44 PM
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Feeling angry about this one. Am I only allowed to cry once and 'get it all out'?. Well meaning friend thought so...how long do I get then?
Already feel wretched...is my grieving exaggerated then?.
Why do people think those comments help ?????😠
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Sending you a welcone hug Coralloss, unfortunately if someone hast felt or had to deal with losing someone very close to them, they do not have a clue about the emotions and pain we have to go through. Dont think they mean any malice, just dont understand x
:hug:
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Alot of people think it's fine again after the funeral. Until they have lost a loved one themselves they can't understand
Sending a hug :hug: xx
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People feel they have to say something to help but well meant advice often comes out as unthinking and cruel.
I was one of those people. I probably upset a lot of grieving people with ill thought out 'words of comfort' before I lost my wife and learned how hard grief really is.
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Hi Coralloss - I'll go a little further than Hubby here and say that I know now that I have said things in the past that would have been hurtful although they were meant well. I simply didn't understand.
For me a kindly hug or touch on the arm says a lot that words cannot express. I found that nothing that anybody said made me feel better but a small physical contact sometimes did.
I don't think there is anything worse than grief. Our emotions and reactions can go haywire and can even be frightening at times but it is all 'normal' although that isn't quite the right word I suppose, you're not "exaggerated".
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Be kind to yourself, Cry when you need to and just be truthful to others. Crying is a normal response to sadness and sadness is part of grief. Just tell them. Stand up to those who make you feel like you have got to keep it all together. Just politely tell them no, you can't. Like others have said they are probably only saying something because they think they have to. I've just posted about the sadness I still feel since my mum died. It's just under the surface all the time-even when I'm happy. I felt bad still crying so much and reassured my hubby that even although I still cry a lot for my mum. I'm not unhappy with him. He reassured that I was doing ok and just to keep letting it out.