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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: I miss him.
« Last post by Sandra61 on April 23, 2022, 08:24:27 AM »
So sorry to hear about your husband. Please feel free to say whatever you need to here. No one will judge you and we are all here because we too have suffered a loss, and we do understand. Writing and talking always help, so do try to open up to someone about what you have been through, even if you only start by writing down what happened and how you felt about it all and how you feel now in a diary entry or a letter to your husband. No one need ever read it, but just the act of putting it all down on paper can reallly help. Talk to us here whenever you want too. Sending you a hug  :hug:
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Grandad
« Last post by Sandra61 on April 23, 2022, 08:19:03 AM »
So sorry to hear about the loss of your grandad, Paula.
Losing someone you are close to always has a huge impact, but slowly the pain dulls a little as acceptance comes and then you gradually find the good memories resurface more easily. Be kind to yourself at this painful time and remember your grandad will want the best for you. He must have left you with very happy memories, so remember those are something you will never lose.
Sending you an understanding hug.  :hug:
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Re: Grandad
« Last post by Dave Administrator on April 22, 2022, 02:40:52 PM »
Hello Paula and welcome.

I'm so sorry such a sad loss has brought you here looking for some comforting words to maybe help ease your pain.

You must have been very close to him, and I'm sure he knew this and loved you back very much.

It's very early days for you right now, so everything is very vivid still in your memory of him, and this is what can spark you off at the least little thing remembering maybe one of those happy times you laughed and spent together.

Having run this site for over 20 years now Paula, I can only promise you that your pain will ease, and the days become much more bearable than they are now.

May i suggest you use this thread to open your heart out to unload all those hurty bits that can disturb your mind from a restful sleep. No one here ever judges one another, only listen silently with a sympathetic ear. Writing all those things down really does help I know for a fact.

So may I wish you great strength and courage in the days ahead Paula, and that your beloved grandad sends you his peace of spirit to help heal your broken heart.

Take care Dave.
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Grandad
« Last post by Paula kitchin on April 21, 2022, 09:40:28 PM »
Iím new to this site so fingers crossed Iím doing this right, my names Paula and I lost my grandad on the 13th of February, he was more than just an grandad he was like my best friend and I miss him so much 😢 I can honestly say I have not felt pain like it x
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General Discussion / Re: 13 months post loss of Dad
« Last post by Pep on April 15, 2022, 10:55:20 PM »
Hiya,

Its tough losing your dad. I guess that you guys were close? You are doing the right thing seeing a counsellor.

So may i ask you you this? What does progress really mean?

I really dont want to make you more upset but its taken me 30 years to realise that i have to learn to live with bereavement. I have lost so much in my life and the thing that i struggle with are my lack of memories of loved ones i have lost.

Do you have family support?

I hope you are able to dig out some of those photos of you and your dad and remember the good times.

PM me at any time if you like. Although its good to post your feelings here on buk, sometimes its also good to chat to someone. Ive lost my dad too. It sucks.

I also have a low mood
I also cry (not alot, but i still do)
I see a councellor
I not sure if im better than yesterday. Or if i should be better tomorow. Losing my family has defined me. This is me now.

Pep

Take care
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General Discussion / Financial problems after bereavement
« Last post by Tanyask on March 25, 2022, 01:09:27 PM »
My mother has recently passed away, leaving no money to cover the costs of her funeral and various other bills. My family and I are not responsible for covering her bills legally but we do have to pay for the funeral. My sister is on benefits and works part-time and I am a full-time student so we should be entitled to the DWP but due to the complexities of the situation, our initial claim has been turned down, however, we're appealing the decision. This has made the grieving process more difficult and prolonged the stress of the situation.

Until my mother passed, I had no idea how to arrange or organise affairs and where to access support. It is important that this information is made clearer for people who are facing emotional stress and may be more prone to making uninformed decisions. Research is vital in understanding the support needed during bereavement.

ClearView Research is working on a collaborative research project with the charity Sue Ryder, to understand what support is available for people who have been affected by the death of someone close to them. They are really keen to hear from people who are from Black, Asian or ethnic minority communities. Once you have completed the survey you would be entered into our prize draw to win £100! The survey will take less than 2 minutes to complete: https://clearviewresearch.org/CR25
 
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General Discussion / 13 months post loss of Dad
« Last post by Thehodges on March 21, 2022, 04:28:37 PM »
Hello everyone. Iím 40y female and suddenly lost my dad to a heart attack last year. Itís been 13 months now and I thought I was making some progress at the beginning of the year but since his one year anniversary I feel like I did when he passed away. My moods are low and I cry a lot. I feel like I should be doing better than I am. Iíve had counselling but am going to try again. Is this normal?
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Hi
My mum died 4 weeks ago tomorrow and I just feel broken and numb and hurt so much. She was my best friend.
She was very ill with cancer and I know she is not suffering anymore but how do I carry on without her.
I feel like a child again when I am a grown woman with grown up children.
StacyM
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / I miss him.
« Last post by JC on February 21, 2022, 11:49:12 PM »
Hi, It's almost 20 months since my husband died. It was a sudden death..cardiac arrest. I'm not doing ok. I haven't opened up much & l know I need to.
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Hello, I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I don't think there is anything more difficult than the loss of your mum. No one can replace a mum. The circumstances you describe will only have made this harder and more painful and you are bound to be feeling guilty, but honestly, no matter what the circumstances, I can assure you, we can all find something to feel guilty about when we lose someone. The truth is you can't see into the future and can not know what will happen. We all go through a series of 'what ifs' and 'if onlys'. Life however just isn't like that, so please try not to blame yourself. Nothing ever goes as we might have wanted unfortunately.

I am not surprised to hear that you are both crying and finding things to laugh at. Your loss is so recent, you will still be in shock and will still be trying to take in what has happened. It is normal to be so emotionally confused in these circumstances. It is a long and difficult road to travel to find your way through grief and there is no right nor wrong way to do it. It is different for each of us.

It is not unusual to feel you are not coping at all either. No one could expect you to so soon after such a devastating blow. All you can do it take things one day or one hour or even one moment at a time. Try to be kind to yourself and try not to be self-critical. You have had a terrible shock and it will take time to adjust to that and find a way to live with it. I think really, it is something we spend the rest of our lives learning to adapt to. There will be good and bad days as you do, but eventually the better days will start to outnumber the bad ones.

Sending you a hug  :hug:
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