BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: Rolande on March 25, 2017, 02:51:34 PM
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I love cooking and cooking for Charles was wonderful as he was so appreciative. But now, I find it so depressing. I've tried already made meals and I don't enjoy any of them. Peanut butter is a saviour quite often. How sad is that!!
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I do agree with you Rolande it seems so pointless. But youre right ready meals arent good, cant beat home cooked meals, ive got a freezer full of freezer boxes with meals ive cooked and froze half of it, but even then its not the same, my saviour is sandwiches, toasties, meatballs and pasta, although i have found a few ready meals that are more palatable than others xx
:hug:
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I too used to love cooking for Simon. He had bought me a great cook book I wanted for Christmas. At the moment I seem to be doing a lot of jacket potatoes and other veg in the microwave, and ready meals. I cannot face the thought of cooking just yet either. I also used to enjoy baking bread in the bread maker he bought me. Cannot do that yet either.
I just want to let you know that you are not alone Rolande.
Sending you much love
Badger
:hearts:
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Thank you for your replies Norma and Badger55. It does help to know I'm not alone. I suppose that makes me selfish..
Last night I cooked salmon fillets (for 2) so tonight it's cold salmon and salad. I'll get there.. I've made a big vegetable soup and froze in single portions, that's my lunch sorted for a few days.
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Its not selfish Rolande, it's totally human :hug:
If you're able to do some cooking, that's great as your body will need as much nutrient as it can get, grieving is exhausting for our bodies. Some foods in particular can help our minds, omega 3 has been found to help with anxiety, depression and stress, so whilst it can't make everything better a little bit in your diet can only be a good thing.
Maybe when you feel up to it try cooking different things, so it feels less routine?
Sending a big hug to you all xx
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Ready meals. Yeeuch. How many of those have I eaten? They get us by but they aren't really good are they? I still use them, and the chippy, far too much.
I really miss having proper food every night.
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Such a shame we're all spread out, wouldn't it be nice to gather together and cook for small groups/each other - more of a purpose in cooking and the understanding company, with those feeling more able to cook at the moment taking the lead each time xx
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It would be nice Emz2014 to cook for people that are in the same boat so to speak.
Don't know what happened to me this morning but I baked bread!! I haven't baked bread for years and years. Last year Charles bought me a thermomix machine because I have arthritis in my hands and Thelma (I call her) is brilliant for chopping and all sorts. Maybe it was reading the post of Badger (if I'm correct) about her bread machine. When my son called and then my daughter, I could almost hear a sigh of relief from them..mum is getting better. For today anyway. Whatever next?
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I don't lay claim to be any sort of a chef but I'm a mean hand with the slow cooker. I used to bake all my own bread as well but I've had to stop now I'm diabetic I can't carry on eating the best part of a 1.5lb loaf before it's even had a chance to go cold :grin:
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Okay George youre the first on Emz list for a dinner party chef lol x
:rofl:
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That's great Rolande about the bread :-) there's something really comforting about the smell of fresh bread cooking. I must dig my bread maker out again, havent made a loaf for a few months, but think I've finally mastered gluten free now xx
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Glad that you have made some bread Rolande. I will make some too now that you have. Probably this weekend.
Much love
Badger
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Hope your bread goes well Badger. We may not be able to cook for each other, but at least we can encourage, share and inspire each other here :hug:
If you come across, or develop, a great way to make a healthy meal with little fuss, maybe share it here - lets help each other get the nutrients needed, or a bit of motivation to make something :-) xx
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cooking for one is still something i struggle with and as you say ready meals are a bit dire.
During the week i get soup and a roll from the bakery at lunch breaks and eat at my desk then have something easy for tea -i once set myself a challenge to see how many things i could think of to have on toast,and in summer how many different salads i could make.Also i sometimes make a big pot of veggie stew on a sunday have some , then microwave portions for the next few days.
I did discover though that breadmakers can be used to make cakes and jam too, and mine is a good size for a cake for 1.
Also i have a cook book my daughter got me - which was written by a cook in a budhist retreat.Its got really nice and unusual recipes but very simple and its more than just a cook book but has some philosophy in it so i,m more likely to pick it up than a bog standard recipe book - They can use something as simple as peeling potatoes as a way to practice -what we would now call mindfulness -you focus purely on the potatoe and the act of peeling it -sounds bizare but it can be quite relaxing and a good way to stop the jumble brainfog that drives you mad in grief even if just for a short time respite is good.
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I find cooking has turned into my mindfulness karena :-) I actually enjoy prepping veg to go into meals now, and sometimes 'challenge' myself on how many i can fit in, or how colourful i can make it. Just paying attention to the actions does give your mind respite from churning thoughts and/or stressful/fast paced day (I find it does for me) I can also listen to an entire cd during the process so am fitting more music back into my life, and I love how powerful music can be and its effect on moods xx
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Made an aubergine curry in the lovely kitchen that was put in last April last night. Had a glass of wine to accompany me - and the cat. Felt OK. Still some in the fridge for my lunch today.
It will be 7 weeks this Tuesday that Simon passed. This is the first time I have 'cooked' something. Just thought that I would share.
Wishing you all much love.
Badger xxx
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Well done you.Aubergine curry sounds lovely and quite adventurous for a first timer.Not much of a cook myself,I used to cook and bake when the kids were at home but very basic stuff,and then later on Keith did most of the cooking,Left alone I had no incentive to cook for myself,which is ridiculous because I would grow food quite happily but then give it away to someone who did cook.I,have been known to eat out of the tin before now too,but then started making a big veggie stew on Sundays to portion up for the week.Having said that,under the excuse of a heavy gardening day and bad back,I just ate a premade bought in sand which and pre made fruit salad for tea.The ultimate in lazy.
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Well done with the aubergine curry, sounds delicious :hearts: xx
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Today I made some bread in the bread maker Simon bought me as a birthday present. Because I have not baked in it since he died, the yeast had lost its umph so my loaf did not rise as well. Still tastes good though :)
I have also today experienced a slight sense of 'acceptance' of Simon's passing. As I said to someone I know who lost his wife, I am so glad that time moves forward rather than backward.
Much love to everyone here.
Badger xxx
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:hearts: xx
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I've had the odd failure with my breadmaker - but the birds have never complained or refused yet :grin:
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:rofl:maybe they're just not that fussy round where you live.I,he had birds turn down cake before.
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I did chicken thigh fillets in my slow cooker today (hmm yummy) and then when I was cooling the left over ready to go in the fridge I saw a tiny crack in the top of the pottery insert. I now know why every time I've used it for a while now there was burnt residue insiode the heater compartment. The crack goes all the way to the bottom of the pot :shocked:. Straight round to Tescos in the morning for a new one - a man and his slow cooker must not be parted!!
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My dad was brill with his slow cooker, I've never had one. I keep thinking about getting one but I do alot of my cooking in my wok, so worry it would be another item in the cupboard. Have moved my steamer to a more accessible cupboard but havent accessed it yet lol (doh!)
Your cooking sounds good :-) xx
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Slow cookers are powerful magic. I'm sure you could pick a dozen ingredients blindfold and chuck them in and something tasty would come out of it.
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You're probably right .it might be a case of judging how much liquid to put in based on how much will come out of the ingredients.too little and you might have a very dry tea too much and you can always blend it,add some thickener and pretend it was always going to be soup. :rofl:
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Not just for savoury cooking - the rice pudding that I made yesterday should have lasted a lot longer than 2 days really - I was worried that the taste might deteriorate though so I finished it today. It doesn't half go well with a with a nice spoonful of jam in the middle :grin:
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mmmm I love homemade rice pudding. We all used to 'fight' over the skin when my nan made one :-) now I get the whole yummy cinnamon/milky skin to myself :-) xx
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hmm my gran used to make them in the rayburn they took hours but the skin was definitely the best bit.I agree though longedge it might have gone off -and wasting food is sinful. :rofl:
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Well I'm not quite sure that I got the balance of ingredients just right so I've put another one on. Practice makes perfect..... :grin:
p.s. and back to what Rolande said in the OP - I absolutely love Peanut Butter as well and have to ration myself very strictly!
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Peanut butter in rice pudding ? :rofl: I used to hate it as a kid but actually quite like it now.my son in law in za puts it on toast with jam .surprisingly pleasant but I would never admit that too him.
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Jam with anything :yahoo:
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:rofl:
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My son made some peanut butter fudge last week and it tasted ok, although I don't like peanut butter.
I had to try it obviously didn't want to upset him lol
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Peanut butter and jam fudge mmmmm or maybe not.
Yesterday I was watching kids TV (there was a kid here ) they made cakes for feeding ducks.So he wanted to do some.I didn't have that many of the ingredients but we muddled through and subsidised,then little genius has the idea of shoving some bird food in there.It smelt so good I had to remind myself that it included dried mealworm. :rofl:
As it turned out the ducks didn't appreciate the effort of cooking for them or getting soaked through to take them,they just blanked us.So back they came,and the garden birds birds have shown themselves to be much more grateful.
Back to human food I just pulled the last of the leeks so leek and potatoes soup and cheese scones is my tea tonight,then the rest of the soup should see me to Wednesday I think.
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"dried mealworm" - I get through loads and it costs me a fortune :rolleyes:. When I say "I get through" perhaps I should say the Robins in my garden :grin:. I swear they sit waiting for me to get up in the mornings and one of them swoops on the feeder as soon as the mealworms are in there - almost knocks me out of the way :laugh:
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That sounds like my sparrows - getting to the stage they all flutter about me when i go out to put their food each morning :-) really brightens the start to my day xx
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Maybe we should have shares in mealworm production.I do love the garden birds though,great way to start the day,I have a wren nesting somewhere been watching it go back and forwards to the feeder then disappear behind a bush,won't go crashing round though as it might be too disruptive.At the old house I came back from camping and put my disgusting smelly old walking boots on the wall to dry out.By the time I remembered them there was a wrens nest in one.so they stayed there.
Made the soup yesterday then put it on to reheat and forgot it,so burnt pan and burnt potatoe flavour soup on the menu tonight. :whistle:
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put it on to reheat and forgot it,so burnt pan
Thank goodness it's not only me - it's usually the coffee percolator (one of the stove top type) but last year my pressure cooker ended up in the dustbin. My daughters keep telling me off and warning me I'm going to set the house on fire - I've been 'instructed' that if I put anything on the stove I've got to stay with it until it's done :whistle:
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Well that's what I should do too especially as in summer (allegedly summer now) the stove is out so I have a plug in induction hob which heats very rapidly,something I sometimes forget.In this case I got distracted by whatsapp. :whistle:
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I'm sitting here eating crackers, so I understand. For the first time though, I did make fresh soup twice over the last several days instead of takeaway.
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Making soup sounds good, all steps in the right direction. What flavours did you make? Xx
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Usually whatever's available with a potato,sweet potaoe or squash base to save bothering with a thickener,last one I made was sweet potatoes,onion,tomatoes,and the meagre few French beans that the garden has seen fit to produce so far,bit of sage,bit of rosemary and a spoon of bouillon veg stock powder.
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I made chicken noodle soup, it wasn't too bad. I then did ham and cabbage soup, which was something my mother used to make when I was young. It just seems like too much effort to force myself into thr kitchen and cutting stuff up.
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I make a lot of "what's left over in the fridge' soup :smiley: , It usually contains carrots, onions, peppers, courgettes, some chicken and always plenty of garlic. ALways makes me smile when someone in the family calls and has a bowlful and then says something like "ooh that's nice, where did you get the recipe?"
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They all sound like good soups :-) I'll have to try the random combination soups sometime - I have always followed a recipe and never too sure what to do without one. I like recipes, but it can be frustrating when you want to do something but missing one or two ingredients
In an attempt to be healthier this winter (I had a horrid cold over Xmas last year) I decided I'm going to start doing alot more soups etc from autumn - see if that can help towards being a bit healthier/resilient! xx
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They all sound like good soups
That was the list of ingredients for one soup :grin: - oh I forgot + a couple of soggy potatoes :smiley:
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Its probably a good way to get vitamins etc out of veggies especially if you would normally boil them then throw the water away.By keeping the water when you make soup you're keeping anything that would have been lost that way.Also a good way to disguise some of the veggies you're not over fond of,more too the point with kids,green stuff. :rofl: