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Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: Mandic on July 30, 2017, 09:33:00 PM

Title: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: Mandic on July 30, 2017, 09:33:00 PM

I have been married for nearly 40 years. My husband was a fit, happy, funny, loving and generous man. 6'3" and fit, active and kind. On Friday he had a pain in the stomach, on Saturday he had an operation, on Sunday he had an operation, on Tuesday morning they turned off his life support. They eventually after post mortem, path test etc diagnosed him with advanced and aggressive bowel cancer. We didn't have a clue. He was so fit. How could I not know. He was my life and my soul and I cannot forgive myself for not knowing.

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: longedge on August 01, 2017, 09:12:17 AM

My sincere condolences to you Mandic. We know what you are going through.

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: Karena on August 01, 2017, 10:04:27 PM

 :hug:so sorry that must have been a horrendous shock.We all at some stage find a way to blame ourselves in some way,guilt that isn't in any way justified but very real too us.There is no way you could have known.My husband died of a stroke,there's no way I could have know,because all those classic symptoms on the advert,were not there,but it didn't stop me feeling that way.Sometimes,no matter how much we are told to look out for or how much we know about medical stuff,the typical signs ,although common,,are just  not the case for everyone.

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: Emz2014 on August 01, 2017, 10:16:35 PM

Sending a welcome hug mandic  :hug: xx

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: quietstorm on August 04, 2017, 11:34:14 AM

What a terrible shock my heart goes out to you  :hug:
I lost my husband suddenly too in March this year . Keeping you in my thoughts xx

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: Bahadur on August 05, 2017, 04:33:11 PM

It is two years today since my wife passed away. I still have not fully recovered. I feel for you. Life has to go on. Stay strong we are all with you.  :hug: :hearts:

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: Mandic on August 06, 2017, 09:04:15 PM

Thank you everyone for your support, I just need to vent every now and again x I don't know about anyone else but I am much better with strangers as I can pretend nothing has happened, just had some good friends round and fell to pieces, could hardly speak to them xx

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: Rachaellee on August 09, 2017, 01:00:04 AM

I'm so sorry. It was something similar with my husband. He was having chest pains, and the ambulance took him to hospital. He was diagnosed with severe pnumonia, and the blood disorder he had for the last thirty years morphed into lymphoma, and the scan showed cancer starting in his stomach as well. He was gone in less than 7 days. I just sit here and blame myself for not doing something quicker, for not noticing. I am just so sad and lost.

Title: Re: My soulmate died suddenly on 27th june
Post by: Emz2014 on August 09, 2017, 08:24:21 AM

Blaming ourselves is a natural stage of grief, but in reality we are not to blame.  We do our best with all the knowledge we have at the time.  Try to be gentle with yourself xx