BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: Lucyd on April 13, 2016, 02:31:16 PM
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My Dad died last Thursday from cancer. He was diagnosed in November and we thought he would have a few years but it all happened so quickly. We are a very close family - my Mum, Dad, sister and our husbands and children. I am devastated that he has gone and I can't believe I won't see him again. Since he died, I have had a migraine which is so intense I can't function very well. I knew that I would be very upset when he died but I didn't expect to be in physical pain. I have two children, 8 and 10, who are also upset by the loss of their Grandpa. I feel awful that I can't lessen their pain and I don't know how I'm going to get through the next few days. Has anyone else felt physical pain as part of their grief?
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I think I need to post 3 times so here goes
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Here is the 3rd post
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Welcome Lucyd im soory to read your post, my heart goes out to you and all your family, that terrible disease takes so many of our loved ones, its early days for you all at the monent Lucyd but i promise you the group will support you through your worst times xxxx
:hug:
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Sorry to hear of your sad loss lucyd. :hug:
I believe grief can bring on physical pain as well as the emotional pain we feel. We are going through a very traumatic process and it takes its toll on our mind and body. Have you been to your GP for the physical symptoms? They may be able to help.
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A warm welcome if a sad one.it is very early days and has to be a case of getting through a day at a time an hour at a time if need be.When my husband died we gave the older grandchildren the option to attend the funeral they wanted too and so we made sure they were involved making it a celebration of his life. rather than a traditional conventional one he was not a conventional person even the funeral car was a friends campervan They had a say in the music and after the service they handed a daffodil to each guest.we then all walked down to the nearby river and floated them down there,which inevitably ended up with wet feet and laughter .The boys picked up on the idea and send things down the river to say hello even the little ones who went born then do it and so have come to know him through the opportunity to talk about him it presents,Usually a stick or clump of grass nothing harmful although he would have been rolling with laughter the time one sent a docked lambs tail.Every year around the anniversary me and the eldest take a daffodil for each member of the family as we are all scattered,and float them from the same spot.Not everyone has a river or wants the unconventional but what I,m trying to say is you will find your own way to help them cope and to remember him in a good way,could be plant a tree or a whole memorial garden start a memory box with them,anything at all but by doing things together sharing the good memory's of him you will cry together but maybe also find the joy he gave you together too.
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Yes, I do believe our emotional pain can cause physical pain too, I often had a painful intensive pain in my chest, and deep within my core. Also if your sleep is being disturbed that can also cause aches and pains
Sending a hug xx
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Thank you everyone. It helps knowing other people have experienced this pain and got through it. I think the daffodils idea is lovely. My daughter suggested we throw flowers into the sea at yhe beach he always took us and the kids too. We did that on Sunday and it was lovely. I just miss him so much and keep expecting him to walk in my house whistling and with a hug for everyone.
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Hello Lucyd. The initial period of grief is awful but it will pass and the pain will ease. As the months go by you'll get to a very important time when talking about loved members of the family that are no longer here and reminiscing about the 'happy times' becomes a comfort and keeps them with you.
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One of my friends has a little girl who was very upset on hearing of Margaret's death. She wrote a letter and asked him to buy a balloon so she could send it to Aunty Margaret in heaven.
He duly got helium balloon and they went to the beach and released it. I thought that was a really nice thought from a little child. :rainbow:
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That is lovely hubby,Children do have lovely ideas and I think it is good to let them carry them out as its their way of coping.
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I always think that children are so wise in there innocence its only as we get older we allow reality cloud our thoughts and and actions xxx