Author Topic: Newberry Fruits!  (Read 4053 times)

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Offline angela33

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Newberry Fruits!
« on: September 18, 2016, 11:17:11 PM »
Have been bumbling along quite steadily for a few days, managing ok, then this morning, shopping in a local garden centre, saw in their Christmas sweets and treats displays that they had a pile of Newberry Fruits on sale.  Now it was a joke between John and I that these were our secret vice and we so looked forward to Christmas when they would go on sale and the first one of us to find the first box of Newberry Fruits each year was hero or heroine for the day!  So when I saw them, my heart just lifted and a big smile broke out and for a split second, I forgot my 'new' life and was so happy I was going to be the Newberry Fruits Heroine 2016.  Then just as swiftly, the reality crashed in and I was just devastated. It was the worst feeling imaginable (tho I know you all will recognise what I'm describing) and laid me so low for quite a while. As so many of you have written, it can be the silliest thing that knocks you down. Made me dread the coming dark winter and especially Christmas, which was John's favourite time of the year. So sad that he died shortly before Christmas last year - when he was in hospital the final time he kept on asking me did I think he'd be home for Christmas. His funeral was on 22nd December and I pleaded with the Funeral Directors to get his ashes back to me before Christmas so at least his remains would be at home with me. They were very kind as it was a bit difficult for them to manage this, but one of their team arrived at my door on Christmas Eve with them. I was supposed to be having Christmas lunch with John's sister and family, but on Christmas morning, my dog was wretchedly ill and there was no way I could leave him alone for 4 hours in that state, so I ended up sitting at home alone begging my dog to get better. Coz I'd planned to have lunch out I had no food out of the freezer to cook, so I was sitting on the sofa eating a cheese sandwich watching the Muppet Christmas Carol on television and howling my eyes out.  Surely this year cant be worse than that!!!!!! Oh and Harris (the Westie) did get better so not as bad an outcome as it might have been!

Offline sue smith

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2016, 04:34:36 PM »
Your post made me smile a little.  My husband was a dialysis patient with quite a restricted diet but he could eat Newberry Fruits - and did as much as possible.  Our daughter gave him boxes of them for birthday, fathers day and Christmas every year.   It's 6 years since we lost him and these days I can smile at things like that and even eat them myself now.  Time passes and it does heal a little,  it never stops the "missing" but the memories are happier.  For a long time all I could think of was how ill he was before he died,  now I think of the things we both enjoyed and the life we shared.  This will come to you as well but you have to give it time x

Offline Brian71

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2016, 04:36:44 PM »
I didn't know what Newbury Fruits were...lol...though I did guess right, when I did a search online to see what they actually were.

Yes Angela I quite like those too, yummy.. it was I who had the sweet tooth,  my wife preferred the more healthy savoury treats,  though I've not eaten anything sweet for many weeks now, as I'm trying to lose a few lbs.   I've lost a stone so nearly there.  At least it means I can indulge myself a little when I go to Scotland shortly.

John's passing away so near to xmas did not help either,  some xmas present that was, it must have been truly awful getting through last xmas Angela,  TBH I'm dreading this one coming, as we all likely are...I'm trying, but yes I think my first xmas on my own will not be good.

A day at a time.
 :hug:
« Last Edit: September 19, 2016, 04:38:23 PM by Brian71 »

Offline angela33

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2016, 06:28:58 PM »
Yes Christmas - no number of Newberry Fruits can make it better!  There should be a hotel specially designed for people in our situation where nice food, company and warmth is available but we can dip in and out of whatever is going on depending on our feelings at any given time.  I thought about going away for Christmas but all hotels concentrate on providing Happy Holiday packages full of bells and whistles and jollity - and sure, why not, for most people it is a happy time, but the idea of trying to join in and make merry fills me with dread!  Hopefully this year's food will be better than a cheese sandwich!

Offline Karena

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #4 on: September 19, 2016, 08:24:44 PM »
I decided Xmas was going to be a different event for me.so far I,ve got presents for the grandkids and gone to my daughters for lunch but that's my only nod to traditional Xmas.That doesn't mean I am miserable though.I just started new traditions,sometime just before the kids and I make bird treats and string popcorn and decorate an outside edible tree for the birds.Followed by toasting teacakes over the fire and hot chocolate. I don't do Xmas cards so i,ve never had to sign one just from me ,but a few special people get a handmade version for new year,I also borrowed pagan ideas for new year,decoration instead of Xmas.using crystals to welcome the light of a new year and reflect it into the house.New years eve i sit outside with a firepit lit.Its my own thing,but I found it took the sting out of Xmas,I,m on the outside looking in to other peoples celebrations but I,m no longer a part of it,so even though there is no escaping it in the shops on the adverts etc but not being involved I have developed an ability to be cut off from it.
This year will be different again I will be in south Africa.They don't over egg it there and its the height of summer so different again.

Offline Hubby

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #5 on: September 19, 2016, 10:40:55 PM »
I've no idea what I'm going to do for Christmas. My youngest always went to her fiancées family's house for dinner which was a constant source of annoyance for Margaret. This year she has said she's coming to my house.

I don't know why. I'll want to be alone.

Offline Flicky

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2016, 01:49:14 PM »
This is a tough first to deal with when you have family.  Last Christmas was the first after my dad died in the June.  Christmas has never featured very much in our lives and for the previous 10 years or so I had spent it with my partner and his parents (my parents suggestion, not mine).

My sister and I didn't want mum to be on her own (although I'm sure she would have been happy with that) and she agreed that we should spend the day together.  I stayed with mum for a few days as I live away and my sister and brother in law came over for lunch.  We then went to see my niece and her family in the afternoon as it had become tradition in the previous few years that mum and dad would spend Christmas with them.  I'm not sure if any of us enjoyed the day but I'm glad we spent the first one without dad together, even if we don't do it again.

What I'm trying to say is even if this is the only year that your youngest comes to you for Christmas, if that's what she wants to do then please consider it.  I'm sure she is only thinking about you and doesn't want you to spend the day alone.   

 

Offline Hubby

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #7 on: September 20, 2016, 08:32:25 PM »
Thanks Flicky. I was just thinking out loud in that post.

Of course I will be delighted to have my daughter round especially as my grandson will be with her.

Offline Karena

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Re: Newberry Fruits!
« Reply #8 on: September 20, 2016, 08:51:13 PM »
Torn between wanting and not wanting to be alone is a difficult one,I think the solution is to give yourself opportunity's to take a break,if you feel you need some space whether that's insisting they leave you to do the washing up and cry over the sink,or take the dog for a walk round the block.