BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: Dibsy on December 25, 2018, 06:28:06 PM
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Had v difficult day today on my own, just hope everyone is OK and keeping well.
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It can be such a challlenge. Ive had a very ordinary day, although have eaten alot (incl 2 portions of cheesecake!)
Sending you a hug :hug: xx
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Thank you, appreciate your reply. I hit the lemon and orange slices, never eaten so many in my life.
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:hug: :hug: it's been a difficult time for me, I miss my mum so much and even though last Christmas she wasn't really interested in doing anything, I still missed her this year and I will continue to do so. I spent the day with friends, it felt weird and to be honest I drank more than I usually do, but it passed the day and and they looked after me exceedingly well but I said to one of my friends that i'd like to go home tomorrow [today!]and be in my own home. I don't celebrate boxing day, mum and I never did and im not bothered about new year either.
hugs again, Christmas is nearly over thank goodness, next year im going to bugger off abroad !
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I lost my Mum a few years ago now but this time of year memories come flooding back. I recall more and more now how many small kind things my Mother did for me, always pleased to see me, always there with a cup of tea whenever I visited her, ready for our chat. I think the idea of b --- off abroad is a brilliant idea!
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I've come back home now after spending Christmas eve and Christmas day with my lovely friends. I'm just on the sofa, watching 'carry on cruising', one of my favourite carry on films, don't they always put the same tat on over Christmas but I do find this one funny. I love the little old lady in it :D
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Second Christmas without Mum, husband not interested spent most of it alone , memories flooding back, of both her and Dad, whatever anyone says it is a difficult time, as is New Year, I have learnt above all else do not let anyone tell you how to feel or what you should be doing
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Twinkle, nobody knows really how you feel, we are all individuals. Really determined not to have another v bad day, went in the garden and took the saw to a tree which I had wanted to get rid of for some time. A bit drastic I know, but it certainly took my mind off things. I thought what would my mother do in my circumstances and I could hear her saying well, get on with it then, so I did. She was very practical, down to earth, typical Londoner. I have three rings of hers, one of which cost me more to have it repaired than what it was worth but it goes everywhere with me, a little bit of her. Time to spoil yourself Twinkle, chocs, TV, book, drink?
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Twinkle, nobody knows really how you feel, we are all individuals. Really determined not to have another v bad day, went in the garden and took the saw to a tree which I had wanted to get rid of for some time. A bit drastic I know, but it certainly took my mind off things. I thought what would my mother do in my circumstances and I could hear her saying well, get on with it then, so I did. She was very practical, down to earth, typical Londoner. I have three rings of hers, one of which cost me more to have it repaired than what it was worth but it goes everywhere with me, a little bit of her. Time to spoil yourself Twinkle, chocs, TV, book, drink?
my mum, although not a Londoner she was a Nottingham girl, born and bred, was also very practical, she would have got on and done things. She missed my dad dreadfully but never really gave in to her grief although I know she had her low moments. I miss the both dreadfully and my pooch Harry whom I lost in august. I'm watching born and bred on tv, I used to love that series. I'm planning a couple of trips in the new year, a few days in kent where I grew up and when my passport comes back, im planning a trip to new York, I was going to go to Australia but I fancy new York first, although it will e a lot colder in jan/feb than Oz! and when I come back im going to think about having another furry friend to adopt. I miss the company of a dog. I look after one a couple of days a week via borrowmydoggy but I want one of my own.
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I've been thinking about a visit to New York too, but in early Spring. If you get the time, please let me know what you do and see, it will give me some ideas, it will only be a short visit for me. It is certainly something to look forward to and I hope you enjoy it.
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I've also got my spare room to clear out and get nice and organised, got loads of stuff in there, will probably take me the best part of a week! I haven't touched it since I moved in in June!
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I've been a right Grinch and taken down my Christmas tree, the few decorations I put up and all the Christmas cards in the bin! Sounds harsh but I feel I've done my Christmas bit and it's finished now. My sister in law (although she is lovely) is being a pain and chasing me to attend her "Family Christmas Get Together" - she set up a Facebook event for it. She doesn't seem to understand that I just can't sit there watching them all with their loving partners enjoying everything and I am alone now - so I'm not going, they wouldn't miss me anyway and I can do what I like now, she just thinks we are The Waltons! I did have a nice day yesterday at my brother in law's, it was relaxed and low key which was just what I needed, not enforced jollity pretending everything is wonderful.
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Im also planning to sort through my study over the break, lots to sort out and tidy. Am enjoying not being at work.
I too took the Christmas decorations down today and dismantled the wreath I made. I should be able to use the wreath base again next year. I enjoyed the food, films and had some lovely prezzies but just not feeling festive this year
Hugs to all :hug: xx
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Twinkle, nobody knows really how you feel, we are all individuals. Really determined not to have another v bad day, went in the garden and took the saw to a tree which I had wanted to get rid of for some time. A bit drastic I know, but it certainly took my mind off things. I thought what would my mother do in my circumstances and I could hear her saying well, get on with it then, so I did. She was very practical, down to earth, typical Londoner. I have three rings of hers, one of which cost me more to have it repaired than what it was worth but it goes everywhere with me, a little bit of her. Time to spoil yourself Twinkle, chocs, TV, book, drink?
Thank you, I did not have as bad a day either, took down the few decorations I had put around put cards in bin, do not feel under so much pressure now, am aware my other 3 siblings are together still, but that's okay, mum and dad would have expected that, I had a ring made with some of mums ashes, it is a huge comfort, for Dad I just have to have the memories, yes spoiling myself a little TV books chocolate
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I did a bit of cleaning today, hoovering, changing bedding etc. I really need to start sorting out my spare room but I think its a two person job!! tomorrow im doing laundry, I know how to rock and roll eh? I did a bit of shopping in aldi today and bought some nibbly bits for New Year. I didnt have any alcohol tonight either, but I did doze off whilst watching friends!! :D
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I will be glad to see the back of xmas but January isn't going to be great as its Ruth's Birthday on the 3rd and then the 21st is the day she died this year.....I am having some flowers delivered for her as i have done on her birthday since i met her but it so strange not being able to ask her opinion on something like cooking etc. I have her ashes (as well as her sisters and mothers here in one of the spare bedrooms) and her favourite flowers and something you will probably think i am daft doing.....she always had a favourite perfume and since she died i squirt some on a silk flowers display sometimes i walk past the room and think she's in there with the scent wafting out if only she was there I would be the happiest man in the world.
You have mentioned Christmas decorations above and i thought for the first time I would buy some solar powered outdoor christmas tree lights......i strung them up on a Korean Fir tree and also some on a Rowan Tree and they actually looked quite nice for around 15 minutes........there is a slight problem with solar powered lights up here in Scotland.......we don't get enough daylight through the day to recharge the batterys so they turn on as soon as its dark and then gradually go off after 15 minutes LOL now ain't that typical of me? the village idiot strikes again.
Next year i will also be buggering off (blame Kes for the bad language lol) I am off to the mountains to see if i can get some mountain hare photos.
that's a lovely way to remember her Brian, and I agree as I think others will that anniversaries are hard. February 21st will be the first year anniversary of mum's death next year and July 26th was her birthday. LOL at buggering off, I think it's an excellent idea, although im not sure where I will bugger off to!