Hello Nicky, welcome to this site. Sending you a welcome hug.
I am not at all surprised to hear that you are struggling. Your loss is very recent and sounds as if it was very sudden and traumatic, so you are dealing with the shock and pain of that. Also, it was your mum you lost and that is one of the hardest losses you will ever have to face. There is no one like your mum and no one you will ever probably miss as much.
Sadly, it is very common to find others don't understand how we are feeling. If they have never experienced a loss themselves they just don't know or understand the depth of the pain we are in or the impact that loss has on a close relative or friend. Teenagers in particular, I think, are so inexperienced in life and so wrapped up in their own worlds that they don't focus much on what is going on with anyone else and sadly, mum is often someone they take for granted at that age. It is a shame your husband doesn't understand better though. I suspect he is lucky enough not to have been through this himself yet. I think people who haven't do tend to think loss is something you can just get over in a few weeks and move on from, but it is not. It takes months to feel any better at all and often years. I lost my mum just over two years ago and still have weeks when I feel very down.
I am glad you have supportive colleagues, but work adds its own stress to our condition and all that weighs you down terribly when you are grieving.
I found it helped to do little things, like have flowers around the house as they lifted my spirits a little. I also wrote down how I felt about all that happened when my mum died and still keep a diary where I sometimes include how I am feeling now and that helps. I think writing it down does help get some of those feelings out of your system and does help you understand them as you have to put them in some kind of order to be able to write about them. I also put an album of photos of my mum together to help me remember the happier times we spent together and I take walks in the park. I find that a calming place in which to sit and try to process it all and come to terms with it.
Don't expect this to be something you can get over and move on from very quickly Nicky. It is a long and painful process, and you have to find ways of helping yourself through it. Be kind and patient with yourself. There will be good and bad days and weeks, but it will not be done and dusted in few months, and will always be with you. Sadly, loss doesn't work that way. I find it is not something you ever get over; you just learn to live with it. It saps all your energy and happiness from you and creeps up on you unexpectedly to drag you down again. It does get better, but it takes a long time.
Wishing you well.
