too much to bear

[Knightingale]

Although my friend died in September, the funeral wasn't until November, so I did go. He didn't have any family and few friends, he was found at his home, I don't know why he died, the coroner wouldn't tell me as I wasn't family! There might be an inquest so I will find out eventually, just adds to the stress. I knew him for 16 years and in 2003 we had a relationship and I so regret that I didn't make a different decision, but I threw away my chances and now I 'm left with so much regret and what if's and I can't bear the thought that I will never see him again. I have no-one to talk to about him, it's so hard to bear!