A glimmer of hope or at least a different future

[Cairo]

This isn't a request for support but I hope it's okay to post how I'm feeling. I had a strange day today. Was back in work and received so many emails from people all over the world who knew my George. At the funeral someone said to me not to underestimate the influence he had had on so many, and it's true. I feel very humbled. Very tearful also as a couple of people who worked for us came to the office when I was there for the first time. So painful.

Feeling my loss very badly with lots of little reminders of our life together.

Then this evening my sister in law put on a DVD - La Famille Belier. My brother & his wife are staying with me. They live in France and my family has strong French connections as my parents and both brothers lived and worked there for many years. We all speak French to a greater or less degree, while George struggled with other languages. We were drinking a fair bit and spoke to each other in French while watching the French film. I suddenly realised that a) I was enjoying the film and not 'elsewhere' in my mind as I've often been and b) I couldn't have done this with George as I'd have to translate for him.

I wouldn't have minded at all, of course, and I would a hundred million times rather he was here and we all spoke English. But it was a little peep into a parallel world, maybe.

Now I'm about to go to bed alone, apart from my dog, and feeling down again. But for the briefest time I had a glimpse of a future where I could enjoy things and maybe different things.

Perhaps one small step in the healing process is to do things you couldn't do with the person you lost; things you enjoy but they didn't?

By the way, the film has English sub-titles and I can really recommend it. A bit weepy but we need something to release our emotions, don't we?

[Emz2014]

Its totally ok to just write how you're feeling without a request for support, its good for us to have a place to just write about whats happened
On the old forum people sometimes wrote to their loved ones or kept a 'diary' aiming for 5 good things from each day, both of which help us on our journey
So the forum can be used however you need it  xx

[Joann]

That is very encouraging to read, to know there can be moments of normalcy and enjoyment.

[Dave Administrator]

What a fantastic post Cairo and yes please we'll have plenty more of those to give hope and comfort to our members their is a future still there but in time of course.

Certainly made me think. 

[Karena]

To add to what you said about trying new things,I would say also don't be afraid to do some of the old ones you both loved too.It seems daunting but for example we used to spend our holidays in Wales dolphin watching,and I still go back every year.The first time was very difficult but I figured losing him was bad enough why lose everything else I felt passionate about.
Now I feel so very close too him there,I,m sure sometimes he is standing there with me.

[Joann]

That sounds great! We are taking Mums ashes to her favourite place on the Isle of Skye in August. She had a favourite restaurant that we used to go to as a family. We were going to go for Mothers day but we dont feel ready yet. Am sure we will and remember her when the time is right.