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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Missing my husband
« Last post by Dave Administrator on February 20, 2022, 08:11:02 PM »
What a terrible start to 2022 I'm so sorry for your loss Tracy.

Please tell the group a little about all the thoughts and worries troubling your mind you may be bottling up to put on a brave face for others.

Trust me it really helps to get all these thing off of your chest to help to heal your broken heart.

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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Just lost my mum and broken
« Last post by J on February 20, 2022, 03:44:57 PM »
I lost my mum on Friday.
 
She was very unwell with advanced kidney disease and other issues and struggling a long time.

I don’t live nearby. I tried to phone her in Thursday with no response and neighbours had to go in and found her on the bathroom floor delirious prob there for two days. She was crying in pain she. They tried to open the door but couldn’t as she was leaning against it.

I went to see her in hospital and talked to her and held her hand but she tried to talk back and couldn’t.

I feel so guilty I didn’t go down to see her as I normally do on Monday. I am recovering from shingles. I feel terrible I didn’t get her out of that house living on her own but she was so resistant to change.

I am not coping. I am an only child and have no family except my husband who is struggling himself. I just don’t know how I am going to get through the next few moths, my dad died very suddenly on holiday when he was 60. 

I go from periods of sobbing uncontrollably as if my heart would break  to laughing at a Facebook post.

I started a new job in jan and after a month there was off with shingles and now this so an added pressure.

I am just so so sad and can’t believe I will never see her or speak to her again.
33
Introduce Yourself To Us All / Missing my husband
« Last post by Tracy R on February 20, 2022, 08:08:52 AM »
My husband died of cancer on New Years Day. He was 62. The cancer over the last year had been cruel and relentless. We over came so many challenges. Then I had to let him go. I feel lost and lonely. I miss him and grieve for our future together.
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Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room / Funeral on Monday
« Last post by Kes1968 on February 05, 2022, 03:43:19 PM »
 :candle:
It’s my Aunt’s funeral on Monday, I feel so sad 😞, I’ve not seen her in many years but we kept in touch by phone especially after my mum died back in 2018, she was the last link to my family.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: Newbie
« Last post by Dave Administrator on February 02, 2022, 03:23:07 PM »
Hello Rosebud and welcome.

Loosing a baby or your child is always heartbreaking to here, and may I offer you my sincere sympathy for your loss.

Yes by all means share your poetry here, it will actually be a very good way of aiding with your healing process.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Newbie
« Last post by Rosebud on February 01, 2022, 03:15:31 AM »
Hello,

I just wanted to say hi to you all. I lost my baby boy a month after he was born in April last year. He arrived at 27 weeks survived a moth and died the day before my birthday. He was an identical twin, his name is Noah. I have 2 other children aswell as the surviving twin. Somedays are ok and some are very tough. I find some solace being creative and writing poetry. I'd like to share some with you 👋
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: My Dad
« Last post by SarahB on January 31, 2022, 06:39:02 PM »


Hi - I lost my Dad in the same way. I'm here for you. It's a big big shock. Please keep talking.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: How do you get over losing your Mum
« Last post by SarahB on January 31, 2022, 06:38:18 PM »
Hi LouLou

I lost my Mum in 2019, coming up to Christmas, and lost my Dad in September of 1999. I was 43 and 23 respectively.

I'm not going to tell you how you should feel other than to say what you describe is achingly similar to what I went through and am still going through. I could collapse every time the memories of the day both of them died comes back to me and the slightest thing such as the image of a hospital on tv, or someone having a heart attack, can trigger me.

All I can say at this moment is, that this rawness WILL pass and I PROMISE you I thought I'd never say that. I was a Daddy's girl and loved him so much but when he died even though I was 23 I didn't really understand death and took my lead from my Mum who was SO UNBELIEVABLY BRAVE and stoic. But I miss my Daddy every day.

When my Mum died, I fell to pieces. She had become my whole world. I don't have a family of my own or a partner and I wanted to die too. I lay there for days, I was like a zombie and I had no idea what I'd done to deserve losing both parents at such a young age. I am still angry at friends of mine who still have both.

Bit by bit it has become a little easier but you learn to adjust and accept. The pain doesn't go away but some days are good and some days are awful. Just go with what you feel and give yourself permission to FEEL what YOU want and NEED to.

Do little things she'd want you to do, and keep on talking to her.

I know it doesn't feel like it but this agony will pass. I promise. I never thought I'd get to where I am, I was a MESS, but I absolutely PROMISE you, having lost my best friend in my Mum and Dad - you will be ok. I promise.

And I'm here. Message me anytime. x

39
General Discussion / Re: Is anyone available today?
« Last post by SarahB on January 31, 2022, 06:25:48 PM »
So I brought it out into the open and the conversation was not well received.

I tried to be as gentle and open and NON-blaming as I could, but when he asked me (Gay 1) how Christmas had went, I told him that I had been so so down that it was frightening and that I thought no one cared. I asked him where he had been, as I noticed he had been out a lot by his pictures on facebook, and I wondered what had happened to the plans we had had such as taking his new partner on sight seeing trips.

I wasn't defensive, I was tearful and kept my voice low.

He IMMEDIATELY went on the defensive. He's done this ANY time I've tried to have an adult conversation with him in the past. Immediate hostility, face like a rubber band, angry eyes, all the time protesting his innocence. I said (for the first time ever!) 'I find it a bit odd that you said you'd always be there for me, yet you knew I was totally alone all over the Christmas period and you didn't even once call or check in...'

He said I had hurt him and he actually said the words 'I won't take that on board'. When I tried to ask him if I could speak he said nastily (it was nasty) 'Yeah you can' but made it clear it would only be when he had finished reading me the riot act. He did the same thing, displayed the same attitude when I told him I knew he'd lied to me about a holiday he went on a few years ago, only to see the truth all over facebook. That wasn't his fault either.

One of the last things he promised my Mum was that he'd 'always be there for me' - and the opposite is true. I have the strongest feeling that he is ok as long as everyone is OK with HIM and believes him to be a good guy. I have finally gotten my eyes opened and I will NEVER confide in him again. Sadly he's just the type of guy who would insist on carrying my coffin, even though it would be down his cruelty that I felt I couldn't open up.
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Introduce Yourself To Us All / Re: How do you get over losing your Mum
« Last post by Dave Administrator on January 26, 2022, 09:33:27 AM »
Hello LouLou and welcome.

First may I say how sad I felt reading the way it happened in loosing your Mum.

Although it was back in 1991 when I lost mine, I too felt my world had come to an end, and yes pain beyond belief.

It's such very early days for you now, and you can only try to manage one day at a time with baby steps, and don't drown in thoughts of what will happen next in the future, you'll deal with that when it happens.

Also trust me Loulou every tear that has to fall is a step in healing your broken heart, so don't hold them back trying to be brave in front of others, because if they care about you they should expect nothing less knowing how much you loved mum.

Emptying out all of your emotions here will help I promise, and will fall on ears that know just what you are going through right now.

May I wish you great strength and courage at this saddest of times, and for peace of spirit to return once more in your day..
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