BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: Frances on July 15, 2018, 01:35:22 AM
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Hello.
I have now been a widow for 18 months. I was 18 when I met my husband and we were married when I was 21. I was 52 when he died in January 2017. He was 59 and had retired in the September before. The plan was that he would sort the house out then I would retire at 55 with him and we would finally travel and enjoy life. We had children and parents to care for over many years, so were truly looking forward to some time for us.
I left my husband sleeping peacefully as I went to work . We had booked a holiday he was looking forward to. We had started walking more together to get fitter. I came home and he was in the bathroom.I waited for him as I wanted to suggest going for a walk. He shouted out my name at around 3.45. Said he couldn't breathe. I called an ambulance. By 5pm he had died. 3 ambulances of all levels of expertise came but to no avail. By 5pm he had gone. Traumatic. Recently I was sympathised with for what I had gone through. But to me it hasn't stopped. I'm still going through losing my planned future and the man I loved. I have healthily grieved the loss of my husband but cannot come to terms with the loss of my planned future. I miss him so much and don't know how to move on. I still feel married to him so don't want a new partner, but I do need to meet new friends. All of my friends are in couples so difficult to continue to see regularly. I still cannot talk about what happened without crying but I know I need to move on. Looking for friendship with those who can relate to my experience.
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Sending you a welcome hug :hug: xx
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Thank you.