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« Last post by SarahB on January 31, 2022, 06:25:48 PM »
So I brought it out into the open and the conversation was not well received.
I tried to be as gentle and open and NON-blaming as I could, but when he asked me (Gay 1) how Christmas had went, I told him that I had been so so down that it was frightening and that I thought no one cared. I asked him where he had been, as I noticed he had been out a lot by his pictures on facebook, and I wondered what had happened to the plans we had had such as taking his new partner on sight seeing trips.
I wasn't defensive, I was tearful and kept my voice low.
He IMMEDIATELY went on the defensive. He's done this ANY time I've tried to have an adult conversation with him in the past. Immediate hostility, face like a rubber band, angry eyes, all the time protesting his innocence. I said (for the first time ever!) 'I find it a bit odd that you said you'd always be there for me, yet you knew I was totally alone all over the Christmas period and you didn't even once call or check in...'
He said I had hurt him and he actually said the words 'I won't take that on board'. When I tried to ask him if I could speak he said nastily (it was nasty) 'Yeah you can' but made it clear it would only be when he had finished reading me the riot act. He did the same thing, displayed the same attitude when I told him I knew he'd lied to me about a holiday he went on a few years ago, only to see the truth all over facebook. That wasn't his fault either.
One of the last things he promised my Mum was that he'd 'always be there for me' - and the opposite is true. I have the strongest feeling that he is ok as long as everyone is OK with HIM and believes him to be a good guy. I have finally gotten my eyes opened and I will NEVER confide in him again. Sadly he's just the type of guy who would insist on carrying my coffin, even though it would be down his cruelty that I felt I couldn't open up.