Author Topic: Rollercoaster Day  (Read 1774 times)

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Offline GHOST

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Rollercoaster Day
« on: October 19, 2018, 10:39:35 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 06:42:40 PM by GHOST »

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Rollercoaster Day
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2018, 07:10:46 AM »
Thats the benefit of this forum, you're not expected to be jolly all the time, here is a place you can vent and let those emotions/thoughts come out. It can really help to write them down, it gets them out of our heads  :hug:

Truly is a rollercoaster - as soon as you think you have got the hang of it, or have a system which works, thats just when a bend comes!  Feeling ill doesnt help, that definitely lowers our defences.  Be gentle and take care of yourself. Whatever you find comforting/indulgent, do more of.  Get some healthy but indulgent food on the go

Have you seen Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? That film covers the possible concept of erasing memories, I liked it/found it interesting. (Mind you, I love watching films - and probably watch too many, when I started my online diary of them I was surprised by the volume)

Sending you a hug, and give little Rory a hug from me too xx
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Karena

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Re: Rollercoaster Day
« Reply #2 on: October 22, 2018, 11:07:35 AM »
 :hug: you cant entierley erase bad memorys but one way to make them less important is to ramp up the good ones - imagine yourself sticking them onto  a visual card - then do the same with the good ones  -(you can physically do this write them all down)  - then when a bad card comes up replace it with a good one -  you will find you have far more good ones than bad ones and that can kind of put things into proportion.

Another idea which is one that does come from PTSD treatment,  is to carry an object - from a positive experience after the traumatic event - something small and portable that you can have in a pocket - so go to the beach -chose a pebble, take your time and chose one that feels right in your hand. sit down with it in your hand , look around you and take take in everything - sight sound and smell including young Rory up too his tricks -  so  you are consciousely looking for peace and pleasure in that moment.At the same time learn how the pebble feels - the smooth bits, a chip or lump in it, the shape etc. You can use anything - doesnt have to be a pebble but i find the solid nature of a pebble or stone is somehow re-assuring. 
Take the pebble home and keep it nearby - when the roller coaster dips again and throws you round an unforseen corner and youre asking yourself whats the point - hold the pebble again and focus on that moment in time, a time after the trauma when you were able to find peace or happiness even if it was just for a short time - helps you realise that you have experienced it once and despite the negativity you feel right now, - (which is actually a natural reaction and part of grief not a fault in your mental health)  you can  have more positive experiences again, and build on that knowledge so it sees you through the darkest days - doesnt stop them happening but just  becomes a reminder, you have climbed out of the pit once so you can again, and having that physical reminder in your hand helps put you more in control of your thoughts when flashbacks happen or depression sets in. Also take it with you if you are going somewhere you think is likely to make you vulnerable, holding it in your pocket even briefly can be reassuring. 

Offline GHOST

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Re: Rollercoaster Day
« Reply #3 on: October 25, 2018, 09:48:25 PM »
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« Last Edit: November 15, 2022, 06:43:03 PM by GHOST »

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Rollercoaster Day
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2018, 01:11:03 AM »
Love the pebble idea - might try that one myself. Sympathising here with you Brian. Lost my mum  year ago and thought I hadn't been doing too bad with that this last few days and then got up this morning and couldn't make myself do anything. I had meant to go out today to the post office and book a hair appointment and clean the car windscreen and just ended up not bothering even to get dressed. Just couldn't see the point, so I know how you feel.

Any way, I had paid for a ticket to go out this evening and so decided, as I had spent the money, I may as well get ready and go. Got back a little while ago having had a good night, chatting with friends, listening to good music, having a dance and now feeling much brighter. So maybe sometimes you just need to get out and do something fun to set you on your feet again! Or at least to remind you that life can still be fun and every day isn't going to be bad.

Good luck. Hope you feel better. Make a fuss of Rory for me! All best wishes for a better day tomorrow.

Offline Kes1968

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Re: Rollercoaster Day
« Reply #5 on: November 29, 2018, 12:52:11 PM »
 :hearts: I had one of those days earlier this week, really can empathise with you on this, the feeling of aloneness that just hits you out of nowhere. As you know I’ve recently got a new puppy and he is helping me with the motivation to keep going xxx hugs xxx