BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Introduce Yourself To Us All => Topic started by: Trishy99 on January 21, 2019, 08:09:46 AM
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Good morning,
I lost my mum on New Year’s Day (her dad’s birthday). She had been ill for a while with copd (can’t give this illness the capitalisation as I hate it so much) however we did not expect her to pass so soon. We all thought she had 2-5 years still.
Her mental health had deteriorated as well and she had become a shadow of my former fiery mum. I was her carer but during the past two years this had become very difficult and there were chunks of time in which we were estranged. Other family issues that I won’t go into just now. The last 6 weeks of her life however we had been very close and I got time to tell her how much I loved her and that I just wanted her better. I now know that this was me in denial she was never going to get better 💔😢
I just miss her so much and feel guilty that I didn’t just put the family stuff to one side. Someone told me not to feel guilt but to accept it as regrets that I was only working with what information I had at the time- I didn’t know that she would be taken from me so soon.
Mum and I always were up and down with each other we were so much alike.
I feel like I don’t know where I am right now- we haven’t had the funeral yet this is happening on Thursday. And my life seems to be spiralling out of control.
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Sending you a welcome hug :hug:
Feelings of guilt seems quite common in grief, the what ifs and should haves. Maybe its part of the normal steps of processing our loss. It is hard to accept but we arent to blame. It helps to talk it through with people who understand xx
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Hi sorry to hear about your mum. The estrangement is something that I can personally relate to and there is the guilt too, a very difficult journey, I wish you peace and sending you hug.x