BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
Bereavement Support Posts => Please Post In This Bereavement Support Posting Room => Topic started by: Anna on July 30, 2018, 10:54:44 PM
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My husband died suddenly three months ago. I was out of the country visiting family, and the shock has been overwhelming. I never imagined that I could ever feel so low....not my normal state. I do hope that the cliche of time being a healer, proves to be true. I came onboard here as have found that talking and sharing really does help. Take care out there.
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Welcome to the forum :hug:
I have found the cliché to be true, it does get easier in time but can feel incredibly slow sometimes and is a rollercoaster journey
Hope the forum helps, it certainly helped me when I joined - knowing I wasnt alone in experiences and able to share helped so much xx
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HI Anna - my husband died 7 years ago - the cliche is true (and its also the last thing we want to hear when people say it )- but perhaps because its not in the way people imagine and as Emz says it takes longer than people imagine too - although we are all different people dealing with different circumstances so that varys. - What i mean is -the pain goes from acute and all consuming to something more bearable which sometimes flares up, at often unexpected moments.
My experience is we learn to live with it, and accept that those flare ups will happen.
That doesnt mean that life will always be as horrific as these early days - it wont, but that we wont forget them or stop loving them and just go back to being the person we were before and actually - we probably wouldnt want too. The bond between us remains but takes on a different form. Even now i find myself reffering to him in a dilemma - what would he have done/advised, or just in daily life - he would have found this funny , he would have liked to see this,he would have been angry about this depending on what this is.
Finding this forum was a lifeline for me - somewhere to write,and the act of writing itself can help us make sense of things or express things in a way we cant say to those around us - others who were going through the same journey who can help you realise you are not going mad - which sometimes you may think you are,,and also friendship, because it isnt just the big things surounding our loss but the every day things we would have shared with them and perhaps now dont have anyone to share with, which is why we have the everyday chat section too.
I never imagined when i came here i would have any reason to use the laughing emojie - but i do use it quite a lot now. :hug:
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Thank you so much. It is a great comfort to have this link....I am so pleased I found it. It's good to talk....as they say on that telly ad'. :hug:
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