Author Topic: Just joined  (Read 1081 times)

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Offline Star9236

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Just joined
« on: February 23, 2020, 08:44:17 AM »
Good morning,

Just wanted to introduce myself, I have been a widow for nearly 7 weeks and I hate it!!

I know that grief will take a long time to process and that I will have times when it will not be sitting so close to me and then I will have the days of pure rage and anxiety.  My huband had been in hosptial since Oct last year so he had not been in the home for a while, but to know that he is never coming home still does not seem real.

I look at the photos of him and it does not compute that they are all we have of him, and the memories which I am trying hard to access.  We have 3 children albeit varying ages and not wholly dependent on me, but the need me for emotional support which i can give them, but who is there for me?

I feel alone with this, my family and friend can empthaise but in reality it is me that has to do this the house, the bills etc.

Sorry if this post is long and angry sounding, i just need a space to rant.

Star9236

Offline longedge

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Re: Just joined
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2020, 08:38:18 PM »
 :hug: The first few months are just 'numbness'. My sincere condolences on your loss.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Karena

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Re: Just joined
« Reply #2 on: February 24, 2020, 10:11:25 AM »
Hi -welcome to the forum -its not where any of us wanted to be but welcome anyway.

I lost my husband 8 years ago so i have been on that journey for a long time - and it is longer than most of us imagine - its like a roller coaster ride -but people have been here for me all the way along it. Just writing helps - but realizing when you think you really are going mad that others have felt the same and done the same brings back some kind of sanity - those of us further along it will always reach out to try and help others get along it as well. So to answer your question we are here for you and support from strangers in a virtual world is sometimes easier than talking to those around us.
Sharing happier memory with your children will help all of you access them -but it is early days yet and the worst ones around the end of their life tend to take over your mind.
 I imagined a pack of cards and pictured myself  storing good ones on some cards so when a bad one came to the top i could throw it down and replace it with a better one - the more you collect the easier that becomes.

I also believe that they are somehow still with us - perhaps just in those memorys but even science tells us  energy is never really lost it changes form but remains somewhere  - i used to think it was wishful thinking but over the years that feeling has remained, grown stronger even.

Finally - you dont need  to apologise for long or angry or ranting - that's what we are here for. :hug:

Offline Star9236

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Re: Just joined
« Reply #3 on: April 12, 2020, 08:20:36 AM »
Thank you for words of comfort.

I  know that this is a new way of life for myself and my kids and we will learn to live in it.  In the current situation it has magnified our loss Daren worked from home so not to see him walk from his office in the garden now that I am working from home throws me.

Our youngest said that Daddy would have loved us all being around and he would have done.

I am currently crying at almost everything at the moment it is our 1st Easter weekend without him and rememebering what we were doing last Easter shocks me. As we had no idea it would be his last, no notice or indication nothing.

I know that I will have the support of other members here thank you.
Star9236 :cry:


Offline Karena

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Re: Just joined
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2020, 01:58:18 PM »
 :hug: I think many people have felt differently about easter this year in general not just the bereaved but anyone isolated from their family - but you have the double wammy of knowing it inst just for this year - my heart goes out to you and the kids. :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: