BEREAVEMENTUK SUPPORT FORUM
General Category => General Discussion => Topic started by: longedge on August 28, 2017, 08:14:55 PM
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I don't know if others find the same as me. When I first lost Chris, it was much easier to post here but as time goes by it gets harder and harder to find the right words. I don't know how many times I've started a reply and just given up because I feel unable to help.
Occasionally I find myself comparing my situation with that of others and quickly stop myself thinking that I'm either better or worse off. We're all grieving aren't we and who's to say who is hurting the most?
I just want to send a big :hug: to everyone and say that I hope that tomorrow is a better day for everyone than today.
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Just sending a hug helps.Sometimes there really are no words, and sometimes juxt having somewhere to write things down is helping but a hug says I read your post,I understand your pain.
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Can I ask how long ago you lost Chris - my lost is 3 weeks and I can't string a sentence together without crying- did you experience this, I feel like I'm going mad is this a common emotion?
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Hello Jannit, yes of course. It's 22 months now for me. I'm sure that we all experience the same feelings and emotions but not necessarily in the same order or at the same time.
I was totally devastated and for the first few weeks I was just in a daze, completely stunned and I think in denial. That passed slowly and for me the next couple of months were the worst. I can remember the realisation really dawning on me that she was gone, I think a lot of people go through a stage of thinking it's not real - she'll come home soon. I think that it was then that I really went to pieces for a time, all sorts of crazy things went through my mind and at times I just locked the doors and went to bed and clung on.
Chris died in our local hospice, I'm eternally grateful that she had such good care in her last days. I don't know if it's the same everywhere but our Hospice stay in touch with recently bereaved people and they run group sessions approximately 3 months after the death. When I was first offered a place, they run once a week over 6 weeks, I declined and one of the support workers came to see me at home. Suffice to say I changed my mind and went and I was very glad that I did. I've never been good in company and dreaded it but after the first session I relaxed. It was a good place to be because everybody was in the same situation and it was safe. You could laugh, cry or have a rant and it was OK. Just like this forum where the same applies.
It is so early for you. I was lucky to have supportive family and friends around me and I hope that you're in the same position. Be kind to yourself and don't worry about other people, they are overwhelmingly kind and mean well.
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Can I ask how long ago you lost Chris - my lost is 3 weeks and I can't string a sentence together without crying- did you experience this, I feel like I'm going mad is this a common emotion?
How are you feeling now hun? I lost my beloved on the 3rd october. People dont leave me alone long enough to grieve, its constant either knock on door or phone ringing. I am worse on my own like now it hurts so much i dont know how i can bear it. something will just set me off, so i try to keep busy with arrangements and so much to deal with.
I think it will hit me more after the funeral on the 25th when its all done, and everyone leaves me alone.
i have cried so much my eyes physically ache, so i think what you experienced was normal. I hope your coping better now though. xxxxx
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:hug:
We all need a hug, I do miss them
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I regularly dream of a hug and a cuddle from Chris - and then I wake up :love: :cray: