Practical support

[Elliots dad]

Big  to everyone that’s going through a tough time.  I am, so I really do know how it feels.  Whilst hugs, and kind words are always welcome & offer much needed strength, I hope that it’s okay to share with you, three books that have given me a boost of strength.

The Soul Must Go On, is available from the Cancer Research shops, and these two can be found generally with a Google search.  Firstly, 'Finding Bear' an account written by a mother who had lost her son, and then the one where I’ve found the most strength & practical advice, Grieving Dad.  This book is aimed at grieving dads, but having read it, I really think it covers everyone.  This book has also inspired me to create a life celebration website to honour my son.  I know that links aren’t permitted, but if anyone would like to see the site for ideas of your own, then I’d be happy to share the address with you.

As I say, I hope it’s okay to pass on a few things that have helped & continue to help me during this awful time in my life.  My session with a Clairvoyant was an amazing experience too.

Look after yourself, and whilst tears will fall like rain, do allow yourself a smile or too whilst recalling your most cherished memories.  Stay safe.

[Sandra61]

Thank you, David. I am sure this will help a lot of people.

It is wonderful to see you are working so hard to find your way through this terrible time. Well done for looking for positive things to help you. I often tell people we have to work at finding a way forward from such a terrible disaster in our lives and that there is no going back to who you were before this terrible event happened, but it is truly inspiring to see someone doing their best to try.

I hope a lot of readers will take a leaf out of your book and attempt to find a way forward for themselves. I am sure your book recommendations will help with this.

We can't change the past, but we can change our future and as you say, amidst the tears, there is room for smiles at the good memories too and again, I think this is something we all have to remember.

Well done and share with us whatever you will. We are here for you for as long as you need us. 

[Elliots dad]

Thank you for your very positive feedback Sandra. 

As the saying goes, 'you don’t know how strong you are, until being strong is the only option that you have.'  For chunks of the day, I’m a total wreck, and it totally wipes me out when I cry & I just want to honour my son time & time again.

The life celebration website was created from the idea I read in the book, Grieving Dad.  On it, I’ve included the poems I've written, the current honouring, and a page devoted to memories from family & friends, plus loads of photos too.  Some inner strength has got me through it.

My session with a Clairvoyant confirmed to me that my son is both safe, and with me all the time.  This has given me some much needed peace.  I recommend this route to comfort to others.

I lost my (hero) dad 43 years ago when I was 15, and my incredible mum died 8 years ago, so whilst I’m no stranger to close family bereavement, the loss of a child has to be the worst kind.  Especially when we were so close & the death was totally unexpected too.

It’s easy and understandable to be wrapped up in your own grief, but if I can help one person cope that little bit better, I'll be comforted too.

[Karena]

 :hug:I think every time you write here you will be helping some-one else and that's the case whatever you write whether its to describe your own pain or the things you have found that helped and may help others as you did with the books you mentioned because so many people outside this journey cannot understand the pain it creates and the way it takes over our life - just finding others that do is comforting and if no-one wrote here the site wouldn't exist the way it does now.

None of us are trained experts yet all of us are experienced participants - because we have had to be - none of us chose to be on this journey but thats where we have been thrown and sometimes we reach up for a hand to grab us to help us up  out of the black hole we keep falling into and other times we are the hands that reach back and pull others up after us.