Author Topic: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.  (Read 564 times)

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Offline longedge

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Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« on: January 23, 2021, 10:28:44 PM »
Well over 5 years down the line now but every once in a while I just get overwhelmed. I'm sure I'm not the only one  :azn:.

I stay in touch with the family with WhatsApp and earlier on my brother-in-law sent me some old photos taken at family dos long ago. One of them showed me with my arm round Chris and both of us with big silly grins on our faces. I don't know why but it reduced me to tears.

Tomorrow is another day, as they say and I'll get over it but it came at me out of the blue.
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Jill

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #1 on: January 24, 2021, 06:20:41 PM »
Hi George,  It is very tough isn't it?!  I know exactly what you mean.  Sometimes I see something that reminds me and it's like a punch in the stomach rather than a happy, sweet memory.  It's been one and a half years since my husband died and I miss him terribly.  As you say, we are not the only ones who feel like this.  Just so you know, I understand.  Jill

Offline Karena

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #2 on: January 24, 2021, 06:32:51 PM »
 :hug: :hug: :hug: It is awful when it happens out of the blue like that but it is also something that many of us here share and part of what we mean when we say we never really stop grieving but just get better at living with it.

Offline Pep

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #3 on: January 24, 2021, 07:22:39 PM »
Hi there Longedge!

Yes it is a bit of a whallop around the chops. You are very brave though looking at photo's . I still struggle looking at photos myself. Its always been this hurdle of mine. My councellor encourages me to bring her photos of family i have lost... but i just can't do it.

17ish years ago, my sister came to my graduation (she is not with us anymore - she passed 12 months after my gradution). I know she was there... there is a lovely photo of us two grinning to the camera. (A bit like how you describe). The issue i have is that i don't "remember" her being there at all. I remember my brother and mum. But not her.

There is this photo, but no memory. I told someone once that it was just my bro and mum at the grauduation. Suffice to say that that person knew she was there. My councellor tells me i should stop punishing myself. But i want to remember that day! Its just so incredibly painful.

So i think you are very brave. I think you all are.

Pep


Offline Rod

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2021, 03:44:42 PM »
I took comfort from pictures of my wife after she was taken but suddenly it made me cry so much so that I have hidden the photos.I hope one day I can get them out without upsetting myself and I hope you can too. my thoughtts are with you

Offline longedge

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2021, 06:48:52 PM »
Yes, it comes and goes. At the moment the days are getting longer and there are bulbs pushing through in the garden so, for now I'm over it but it won't be the last time, we just have to get on with things don't we  :rolleyes:  :smiley:

Had my first vaccination today so that's the positive for the day  :laugh:
I'll never get over losing her and I used to think that eventually
I would learn to live with it - that's not happened yet.

        ~ I'm George by the way ~

Offline Jill

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2021, 07:24:18 PM »
You are right, the vaccination is a big positive.  All the best to you George.  Jill

Offline Emz2014

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2021, 08:10:10 PM »
Great news on the vaccination   :hug:  and indeed, signs of Spring brings some much needed hope  :hearts:
Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise. 
Hold on in there xx

Offline Sandra61

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Re: Overwhelmed now and again even after all this time.
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2021, 01:07:31 AM »
I don't have a problem with photos. I like looking at them. It reminds me of the good times the people I have lost had and the good times I had with them, but memories.... I think the mind is a funny thing and sometimes we block out even good memories when on some level, the mind knows how much they will hurt us, so I don't think we should punish ourselves by trying to force memories to come to the surface. Perhaps certain memories we are just not ready to recall because they would be too much for us, much like looking at photos can be too much for others. It doesn't mean they are not there or that we don't value those memories; in fact, I think it probably means the opposite and that, on some self-preservation level, the mind knows we just can't cope with those memories, so shields us from them. Perhaps one day, we will be able to bring them out and look at them again, like old photos that are too painful to see at the moment.

 

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