Today I feeli am having a real bad day. snappy and thoughrley unhappy.i just can’t help myself I wish I were in the middle of nowhere and I could just let go and scream and scream does anyone feel like that? Or is it me slowly going mad I don’t seem to be able to move forward I have lost my soulmate of 65 years of marriage and just can’t see any life here without him we had a good life and five beautiful children we held each other through the loss off our son he wa 42 years old when he died suddenly we held each other up in 2015 on the loss of our son in law he died of cancer at 59 years old and now Derek died 11 months ago and I feel I can’t go on without him he was my rock my strength I am helpless without him now I just ask my self why oh why am I here my daughter is grieving the loss of her husband I should be helping her get through this but here I am just a wobbly useless mess wishing I could just go to sleep and not wake up again sorry I just had to get this off my chest