My Dad had a horrible death in November 2016. He was stuck in a noisy cardiac ward for 6 weeks suffering infection after infection and we couldn't get him out to a hospice - just 5 days before he died the hospital palliative team told us his death was not imminent. Then my mum died in August 2017 after a short illness while I was on holiday, she was in a Home, sad and lonely and had dementia so I tell myself it was the best thing for her. I am glad she died before she forgot who I and my brother and sister were. M and D were both in their 90s so had "a good innings" and their deaths were hardly unexpected, yet in a weird way I thought they'd always be there. There have been stupid arguments with my siblings over the probate process though things are better now (the first thing one of them did was to ask the others to write off a debt from my parents).
On the surface I have been coping fine but I have zero patience with anyone at the moment. I miss them both, things happen that I want to tell them about and I can't. I've been feeling very tearful and lacking energy today. I was ill last week so that's probably partly to blame too. The miserable cold wet english weather makes it worse, my kids are at Uni living their own lives and my husband seems to think I should be over it all by now. So hoping for some support and understanding on here. Thanks for reading.