Hello everyone
Last Sunday my wonderful step-dad died having suddenly become ill a few months before. He'd been a super fit 73 year old until this September and we went on a crazy rollercoaster of possible treatments for his cancer, before being told he had a week, which was actually 48 hours. Throughout the few months I felt I knew it was very serious, but was still hoping. We were there at the end, my sister, mum and I and my son came in to say good bye.
Now the world has stopped and fallen apart. I woke up last night in a panic as I was dreaming that I was holding his hand and then I couldn't find it. I jumped out of bed. I was so close to him - he'd been my stepdad for 38 years, since I was two. He looked after my son each week who also loved his grandad. I miss him dreadfully - it was my 40th this week and now Christmas. I am also a single parent and feel sad that my closest friends aren't around as much as I hoped. I feel quite hurt - I told my best friend I felt lonely and she said she couldn't come because of work and staying over at a friend's flat. I'm not sure if she got dick of me not responding when he was very ill - I told her I couldn't speak for a few days. :rofl:I feel very alone right now - my mum is not coping. Being there as much as possible for her but she is mostly biting my head off. Asking my opinion then immediately saying I am wrong. I love her and know she is in agony so I'll just keep being at her side.
I know there are no easy answers but I think sharing experiences with others will help me.
All the best at this incredibly difficult time.
Octavia