Anger jealousy and tears...

[Twinkle]

Sorry I seem to keep posting on here and feel like I am either dramatic or pathetic.... have had a horrible day, it is my Mums Mums birthday, my sister sent me pics of her tree and decorations, when I have felt unable to celebrate, I was so angry, and I guess jealous, when Mum suddenly died I was with her, I tried to save her, I had been her carer, my sister when orang and told her what had happened refused to talk on phone, wouldn't communicate with me as she missed mum so much, didn't help me at all with anything, and now when I am really really struggling she doesn't want to know, still will not speak on phone, texts but anytime I say I can't cope she blanks me, my two other siblingsnot much better and my husband worse than useless. Today I went to the supermarket to get some bits for Xmas and saw all the things I would have been getting for Mum, she loved Christmas and I spent every single one with her. I cried all the way home and sobbed for an hour afterwards I reached out but no one understood or cared am not sure which , am so angry that they don't seem to care or feel like I do,  and have never ever felt so alone and scared in my life

[Emz2014]

  
Everyone deals with grief differently and it's so hard to support others when grieving, so its hard to tell whats happening with your siblings.  Would your sister talk with you more/be more supportive in person rather than on the phone? 

You dont need to apologise here, its all very normal grief feelings.  I recall having that when seeing pictures of others with their parents on facebook - an intense jealousy and pain.  My cousin posted a photo only a few days after I lost my dad writing about how amazing her dad is etc - I dont think she could have hurt me more if she'd stabbed me!  Some people don't think, or just dont get the effect their actions and behaviour can have on others

Sending a huge hug  you're not alone here xx

[Twinkle]

I know it's hard to tell how others are feeling, especially as my sister refuses to speak other than via text, we have had another text row tonight as I tried to tell her what a bad day I had, and she said I was picking at scabs to make myself hurt so therefore was getting something from it.

I know you are right others don't think or realise what their actions can do I feel so tired of being hurt and scared, it's hard enough to lose mum without people not thinking...

[Karena]

  just got back from work Xmas party.very drunk boss was asking everyone what their ultimate Xmas present would be if they could have anything in the world and no budget to think of.What do you say too that when  you cant think of anything you want because the ultimate present is not in the world and no amount of money will change that..Apparently you nip out to the loo before its your turn to answer and stay there long enough for a subject change.But that's the grief journey,it comes up and whacks you and even though you know people are saying something innocently and you can't expect everyone else to not be doing Xmas it makes you feel angry and upset.I wonder if your sister is metaphorically running off too the loo,because she can't cope with the subject.
Don't apologise though,this place is here to have a rant or a cry no one thinks you are being pathetic or dramatic here.