Hi Greyhoundk. I can only say how sorry I am and that everything that has already been said here is true and helpful, even if you can only manage to follow a little of what has been advised.
My husband of 52 years died suddenly last February and I still have those numb days, it really is a roller coaster journey. Some days are easier though and then we have to be careful not to feel guilty about them. As someone said somewhere else on here " I laugh but the laughter doesn't reach my heart".
As for the day of the funeral it really is taking each minute as it comes, I know I couldn't look any further ahead than that. Most of all do what's right for you, at least as much as you can.
These forums have helped me a lot, I don't talk about my feelings much to family or friends, they all think I'm coping well so it's good to be able to express them here.
You'll be in my thoughts and I hope you stay for the support and friendship.