:hug:yes it is irksome,and i like to think its because they want us to be doing well and not just for their own sakes, but for ours, - and no how can they see us struggle when the more they tell us that the more expert we get at trying to live up too it. But i try to always remember they mean well, and irksome is better than watching them change direction to avoid any conversation with you, which also happens.
Also i think we become perhaps a bit over sensative to what people say. When i went back to work my boss was banging on about a marital dispute over the colour of their kitchen units it all seemed so trivial and it is trivial we know that now, but did we before.
Then, in a charity shop i overheard two women disussing their "nuisance" husbands being best kept away from shopping, and feeling so unreasonably angry i wanted to scream at them. Instead i left the shop and took a very brisk walk. Afterwards,when i thought about it from a calmer perspective
A they didnt know about me.
B they wernt talking too me.
C they wernt actually saying anything i might not have said myself in a junk shop too a friend -without actually meaning it - or joined that very conversation in agreement as us women do in shops - but that was before i lost him.