They work for some people .the doctors will change them if one kind doesn't work for you.antidepressants can take a while to kick in and you have to stay the course with them and come off them slowly as advised by the doctor.something like prozak is something you can take to work more quickly but they can be addictive quite quickly.I did take those once in the past and found carrying the last one round in the bottle got me off them.It was kind of re assurance that if things got in manageable I could take it,but because it was the last one I could convince myself a given situation wasn't as bad as the next one could be so maybe I had better save it.I never did take it.But this time round I got prescribed them again,took one and had really bad effect.Others here have had no problem with them,so its difficult to advise.Perhaps yourvgp would be better placed to tell you about the options.
Or maybe even try a homeopathic remedy.Simple things like a bedtime routine.warm bath calming type of tea Pukka nighttime helps me,and pillow sprays lavender is a good one.
I know its useless saying it wasn't your fault,I,m sure enough people have said that already but your mind tells you otherwise thats the ptsd and right now thats your reality.
You won't lose her by letting go of the nightmare.of her,but you do risk losing the person she really was.
Not someone who would be happy to torture you,but someone you loved,and who loved you and that is the person you want to take forward in your heart and mind.She would not want to be your torturer and she would not want to see you punish yourself like this,any more than you would want her to punish herself if it had happened the other way round.
Something you could try is imagine a pack of plain cards.Think of a good memory of her and imagine it imprinted on the card.collect as many of them as you can.Then when the worst memory comes out do the same but put it to the back of the pack and replace it with one of the good ones.It sounds a bit crazy but it helped me through some black times,and I got so I could do it as I came round from a nightmare which meant sleep wasn't so badly disturbed as waking up,being afraid of going back to sleep,so getting up.