As I'm new to the forum I'm not sure if I need to give the whole saga all over again but I'll assume so.
My partner of 16 years died in February after about three months' ill health but only 6 days after a diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer.
Our son, 15 the following weekend, was initially very sad then fairly accepting then cried at the funeral then has been totally cut off inside himself. We've had to move house, country, leaving his friends behind, his girlfriend, childhood home, school, etc., and start afresh in the UK.
Worse still it came out a few weeks after he died that my son had been asked to keep secret a photo he'd found which was of his dad and a woman friend. Other gut feelings plus a kiss he'd seen them share (may or may not have been cheek/lips) supports the likelihood that they were having a relationship. Before he died he'd asked me to marry him ... rapidly of course.. but that never happened.
Now, nearly 12 weeks later, our son has been up and down in his moods horrifically, gradually dropping out from school more and more days. However it's not as cast iron as that, because sometimes he understands totally the advice I'm giving him .. such as today, when he admitted he was too tired for school because he's not sleeping well and after about half a day of sleep/conversations, he accepted he would give up his phone on school nights and we'd google sleep-aid apps. But about an hour and a half later he was as arsey as heck and giving me lip and didn't care if the courts came out he wouldn't be going to school. He's been playing online games for hours.
I can just about cope with everything day to day (even the Will nightmare - he'd made a new will but not signed it, and the other woman is an executor and potential trustee for our son and I don't know how I'll survive with the lack of money I'm going to get.......) but the up and down is a nightmare rollercoaster.
Now I have to say obviously in theory I understand, but living with it is ghastly and there seems to be a lack of help ... well there's plenty of help IF the teenager is prepared to go out and get it. As for me? I'm too hurt and angry to be able to be sad.