Hi Badger.It is six years for me,and it took a long time but I am more used too it now.Even so there are still times when I really still feel it.I still miss him constantly,and have accepted I always will.day to day I come home from work to an empty house and some weekends go to the shop both days just for human contact.But there have also been times when I have found myself deliberately disappearing off on my own because coping with people being around for long periods is difficult,crazy as that seems.
Somewhere in the middle is a comfortable slot.I remember the shop situation very well but it doesn't really bother me now.I think its a case of choosing the dragons to slay and walking round the others.For example There was a discussion on here about eating out alone,and my thought was no I couldnt do that,but later realised it really doesn't matter because actually I don't want too,a takeaway coffee and sandwhich is fine.Same with the pub,I am in the same quiz team I was,but I have no reason to go to the pub apart from that.
I tried joining stuff like the WI which was a total disaster but one of the things people say you should do . That didnt work for me but it has for others here.
But my daughter lives in Africa so of course I want to be able to travel alone,and we spent our holidays volunteering for Dolphin surveys,something I still loved so I wanted to do that too.Those were the things that did matter so I did slay those dragons.It wasn't easy.But i developed some strategys to get round the hurdles,when travelling for example I always carry a camera and have a project to focus on rather than feeling like I,m an oddball it gives me a sense of purpose or reason to be somewhere.
It takes time,probably longer than we imagine it will, but there are ways to cover that gap left in our lives,even if it can never be filled.
