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Taking anti depressants

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angela33:
Could anyone give their view of the value of taking anti depressants to help support through grief? My husband John died 14 months ago and I have struggled through since then, sometimes feeling I am making progress, then standing still, then crashing back into despair and loneliness.  I have no children and my Mother, Father and Brother all died in the past 10 years, so feeling alone in the world (despite having friends and John's older sister to talk to) gets acute. I have felt so very low and stuck for the past 2 months and although my Counsellor doesn't see me showing symptoms of depression - I am out and about, have a part time job (although at 69 am officially retired), ride horses, walk my dog and mix with others etc but have been feeling more and more that I need more support in this very dark space. Am not having thoughts of harming or killing myself, but  do feel sometimes that dying and stepping out of this sadness would not be too bad. Anyway, just wondered on your experiences with taking anti depressants - appreciate you're not doctors and so cant advise me whether I should or not, but it would help to hear what you think?  Thanks everyone xx

Norma:
Hi Angela, my hubbies name  was John also, i lost my John 2 1/2 year ago, like you im retired but do voluntary work at local community centre, it gives me a focus. I never  had any anti depressents or sleeping pills my opinion of them was they cant change whats happened they will only mask the pain a little and when you eventually come off them, as you must, your loss and the gap its made in your life is still there. However 8 months after i lost John i got Shingles really bad, treatment they gave me was a low anti depressent apparently my loss, my frame of mind all contributed to the shingles, it took me 6 months to get rid of the shingles and was on the medication all that time, and they certainly helped, without any after affects, so i suppose what im saying hun is see your GP have a word with him. Xx

 :hug:

Hubby:
Hi Angela.

I can offer an opinion from a different perspective. I have been in ADs (Prozac) for years and, ironically, was weaning myself off them when I lost Margaret last year. The doctor upped the dose which I don't think eased the grieving, after all grieving is a pretty good reason to feel down unlike depression which is a chemical imbalance.

After I started to feel slightly better I cut down on the tablets. Big mistake. I spiralled downwards because there is a rebound effect to coming off them. I ended up back on the full dose again

My advice would be to try not to get started on them if you can.

Rosaleen:
Hi Angela,
When you said that sometimes you feel that dying and stepping out of this sadness would  not be too bad, I can totally understand it.
 I lost my partner of 34 years,  George, 16 months ago.   This sadness, this grief, though not as raw as it was,  can still seem relentless at times. When it's got bad and I thought  beyond just stepping out, to escape this relentlessness, George's voice has been there and is there to gently persuade me otherwise.
 I've only ever used natural anti depressants for two short periods of time, the first time they helped,the second it didn't seem to make much difference.(though maybe it would have been worse without them)
 My brother in Australia was on anti depressants for a long time following the death of our mum15 years ago. The doses prescribed  gradually got stronger and he had a bad time weaning himself off them.
I have no other family or close friends and I'm retired and so no work. I do different things, they act as distractions, which help.
I think a point Norma made to me a few weeks ago, when I posted here on how I'm finding this second year harder in some ways,  has helped me a lot. The fact that it's a slow realisation that this is my life now.
 I still cry every day. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. I'm learning to cope and accept this new, albeit,  unwanted life. The loneliness and despair you describe are all part of this awful grief.
Wishing you strength :hearts:

Badger55:
Hi everyone

Thank you all for these useful posts on the subject of ADs.  I lost Simon 4 suddenly weeks ago this coming Tuesday, the funeral is a week on Monday.

I saw my GP initially who prescribed short-term sleeping tablets (Zopiclone) and sedatives (diazepam).  At follow-up this week the GP prescribed the AD sertraline, due to my circumstance (finding the body, having no close friends or family, living alone, etc.).  This AD is prescribed for anxiety/panic/PTSD and I must admit that I am living 24/7 in a state of anxiety and disassociation right now.  However, I do not want to take them due to the possible side-effects, and that I recognise that what I am going through is a very normal part of grieving. 

I am speaking to people I know who have suffered loss about their experience, who all reassure me that things will get better with time.  I am also going to work, the gym, shopping, etc., although at the moment I am very much 'going through the motions;.  So am not entirely convinced that I should take the ADs.  Besides which, they also take a few weeks to start to work and then you have to be weaned off of them.

Wishing you all love.
 :hug: :hug:

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