I'm so sorry, I reccently lost my Dad and so my mum lost her soul mate. It is painful I know, I remember having no idea how to cope right after my Dad died, I still don't really know but it does get better. Remember to show you self kindness you deserve kindness so much right now, let yourself cry it's okay. Let yourself shout and be angry, do what ever you need. I still take days for myself where I sleep in and watch Netflix or movies and it's okay that I'm still not okay. This process takes time. Sending you love and understanding xx