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Being told to grieve alone

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Lost daughter:
Hi,
I'm new to this forum I lost my dad 8 weeks ago very suddenly, both dad and I cared for my mum who is quite poorly. Since he has gone I've been doing it myself until I asked for help 3 weeks ago for 1 month whilst I served my notice in work, I'm giving up work to care for mum. My brothers don't really help me, I'm single, no kids and everything is down to me. One brother has helped until tonight when I walked in from work to a load of abuse off him and my mum, telling me I'm angry all the time and not to cry in front of people. I have no one in the world I can turn to, being told this evening I'm basically a failure at what I do. I just want to pack a bag and leave and not come back. My heart is breaking. Please can someone offer some advice or words of wisdom. Many thanks xx

Emz2014:
Sending a welcome hug  :hug:
It's so hard when a family grieves, despite lots of similarities we all grieve in different ways. It would appear that possibly they are striking out in their grief (but that doesn't excuse it!)

It's also hard to care for someone whilst trying to deal with grief.  You are doing so well in doing this - at the beginning some days it can take all energy to get out of bed, let alone then go and care for someone.  So take a moment to notice how well you are doing and the strength you have had.  On this journey it does help to note the things we are managing,  however small you might think.  Be proud of your achievements

But at the same time, it's hard being strong all the time and we are allowed to grieve.  We are quite fragile deep inside.  it often helps to talk things through, get those thoughts out, release the emotion, so you may find it helps being here and able to chat with others who understand. This is a safe place to just be us and find our way through the journey xx

Be gentle with yourself.  Everyones emotions are likely to be running rampant at the moment, it could be a minefield!  Do you have time you can have a walk, or moment

Karena:
I agree with Emz the lashing out could be their way of grieving.But you are entitled to grieve your way too and shouldn't have to put up with that.You are giving up a lot to look after your mum and being a sole full time farer is not eassy at all.You can't care for her if you don't care for yourself and that includes having space to grieve.Going for a walk if you can is a good way to do that's as is coming here,but I think it might also be a good idea to tell your brothers (when youre calmer in a non confrontational way) you need them to take over for a couple of afternoons a week or evenings if they're working and to sort that out between them.There were two of you sharing before and they can't expect you just to carry on alone.

pennyking:
I'm so sorry for your loss.  8 weeks is no time at all, and you are all still greiving and emotions very raw. 
Everyone does deal with grief differently and many people do lash out at the ones they love unfortunatley.
I hope your feeling better about things today.  Sending Hugs x

Lost daughter:
Thank you all so much for your kind words. Luckily for me I have my dog who loves big long walks, we have been out today.
Life just seems so unfair at times, I find myself sitting on my dads bed talking to him as though he is next to me, can feel and smell him around me all the time and that is great comfort.
I stumbled upon this forum as last night I just reached breaking point, luckiest stumble of my life. Truly from the bottom of my heart thank you ❤xx

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