All I ever seem to do nowadays is just agree with other peoples posts so why change - I agree so much with what everybody has said, especially Hubbys comment about always bringing the fact that your wife passed away so many months ago into every conversation.
Chris and also our parents and other family members who are now gone come into the conversation every time any of my family call to see me and everyone now feels free to bring them all up with little anecdotes or sayings such as, " who vonts a peaches" (my mum was German - she was particularly fond of Nectarines which she called peaches and thought everybody else should be as well). I think it's very important to talk about our loved ones after they've gone.
The one thing I can't do is open up emotionally to my daughters and that is because seeing them upset is like a physical pain for me. My eldest in particular is such a softy and just the thought that she might feel as bad as I do sometimes hurts terribly.
I still struggle to not be embarrassed when talking to people about Chris when my voice starts to break and I feel the tears welling in my eye. The only place I've ever felt comfortable with it was in the support group that I attended after about 3 months. There weren't many rules and from the outset it was stressed that it was perfectly OK to laugh and also to cry.
Lynn, you mentioned Sainsburys and I've had a few moments in my local store most notably when I let fly and started berating the poor lady on the check out for something very minor, then had to pull myself together and explain that I wasn't crazy, just recently bereaved. I've run away from an acquaintance of Chris in the car park when she tried to commiserate with me and one day not long after Chris died, I bumped into one of the staff from the Hospice in the middle of the shop. She said hello and burst out crying because she saw me shopping all on my own. We both stood there for several minutes crying our eyes out - what a sight!
Anyway it all goes with our situation, laugh, cry, scream, rant and rave, it passes and we gather our wits and carry on