Hi, my name is Lizzie and lost my mum in February. I feel like I'm trying so hard to keep it together and just when I think I'm doing a good job and my mum would be proud, the feeling of agony tears my soul apart again and it feels unbearable. I have started to think I might actually be going crazy. I have two very young children, My 3 year old son and a daughter, whom I named after my mum - she was exactly 6 months old on the day she died. It still seems unbelievable that she is gone. I think the hardest thing is accepting that I am never, not ever, going to see her again. That makes me so sad. And yet I know she would want me to be strong and be happy for my kids, which I do. My husband is in the Navy so I spend a lot of time on my own. He has been wonderful but i don't like to spend all my time with him crying so I try not to. I also have to be there for my dad. He is so sad too and lost without her. She was my best friend and her death has been life changing for me. I need to let my grief out and surround myself with people who can empathise. May I extend my sympathy to everyone who is grieving, I offer my support to you also. Thank you for taking the time to read this xxx