Lost my mum

[Hubby]

I put all of Margarets clothes in bags in the early days and gave things she hadn't worn to charity shops. I couldn't stand the thought of seeing someone wearing clothes Margaret had worn so those are still in the bags in the wardrobe. Strangely, even though it was upsetting putting them in bags, it seems to be even more upsetting for me to go through stuff now.

Another bird story. I used to feed the birds in work. Unlike where I live the depot is in a more rural area so I would put out fat balls and meal worms and stuff and, on the weeks I had a day shift, all manner of little birds would be eating outside the office window. The area manager was quite impressed and he nicked a few fat balls from my tub and hung them outside his office window. Later that day he was having a meeting with someone and noticed they were staring over his shoulder with a horrified look. He turned around and there, nibbling on the fat ball, was a great big rat.

Nird feeding was banned in the depot from that day on.

[Brian71]

I will eventually have to do the same thing with Ann's clothes,  I suppose having them here still gives me some comfort perhaps....I suppose I feel that getting rid of many of her clothes is like getting rid of part of her.  I will always keep some of course,  I'm just not ready to do it at the current time.

It might sound daft,  but as time passes I'm concerned by the thought I might forget her, which will NEVER happen, so I avoid erasing/removing things that remind me of her, because in my heart I never want to forget her, I want to remember EVERYTHING...   it probably prolongs the pain but that's how I feel....does that make sense.

[marvil296]

Hi Brian It does make sence. Do what you feel, and take your time.You must have wonderful memories to treasure of your lovely wife.I believe though they had to go .They still walk beside us every day.My gran used to say this wee poem to me when my papa died.                       Those we love don't go away.They walk beside us everyday,unseen,unheard,but always near.Still loved and still missed and very dear.I really believe they do.

[marvil296]

Hi hubby I thought that way about my husbands clothes to.I took his clothes to other charity shops in another town like you I didn't want to see anyone in his clothes.I liked your bird story.But I would be shocked to if I seen a rat.I was reading about the surprize birthday party.Its a good idea which you came up with for the engagement party.Everyone you care for will be there.I see you struggle more at night I was like that about my lovely husband.Try and get as much sleep as you can.You really neeed your sleep.Your family must be a comfort to  you.

[Hubby]

Thanks for the thoughts marvil.

I hope you have had a decent day with something better than pigeons to watch.   

[marvil296]

Hi hubby,funny enough I usually only get robins and small birds at my feeding station.But I have had a lovely beige pigeon the last couple of days.Made me smile.I remembered what you said about your piegons.Ive had not a bad day thanks.Hope yours been okay.

[BT]

Hi, I like to look at the birds visiting my garden too.  I have a family of gold finches that visit this brings me comfort as i always told mum when i visited her at home that they had lots of goldfinches and I just got the odd one.  But this year we have a family.   

[marvil296]

Hi BT That's so lovely that you have a family visit you .Birds are so comforting I think.Ive to watch though some times me wee dog dosent bother if the birds are in the garden or the bird bath.But other times he chases them especially if I get a peigon,which I have the last couple of days.He runs after them.I always say when a robin constantly visits you or crosses your path its a loved one in heaven saying hello I'm with you.Me and my mum love Robins.I added some of her robins ornaments to my garden looks nice.My husband worked in a garden centre for years.He loved the garden.I always say if I have any weeds in the garden he would not be pleased.Cause he looked after it so well.I make sure I do to.