Alan you need to get through the next couple of months in whatever way you can and then I think you can start taking stock of your situation. There'll be moments when you think that maybe you're 'improving' , and they'll be quickly followed by plunges back into the black abyss. The best we can hope for is that in time we can get used to and learn to live with our 'new normal'. I still have days, sometimes many days on end when I'm gripped by overwhelming grief but if I'm honest I am improving. I just accept that for the time being, this is how it is.
It's strange how we continue to talk to our loved ones. I felt very self-conscious about it at first even though I was on my own
. I used to be in trouble all the time for not talking but my answer was always that I already knew what Chris was going to say and it was true, we had no need to speak, we both knew exactly what was going through the other's mind. Now when it's too late, I talk to her
.