Hi Kerrie
I just re-read your original post and your comment on dreading Christmas. I totally understand that, for our family Christmas very much revolved around my dad. Over the years it settled into a tradition, Christmas eve he'd often be working so I would plan and make the Christmas eve dinner for when he got home. Christmas day my dad would cook, my sister would do the Christmas day pudding. Christmas was truly fantastic.
We lost dad suddenly in the Feb.
Our Christmas since has been different, not the same, but still lovely in its own way. I think having a young nephew and niece helps, as the focus is more on them now. We start the day taking flowers to dads plaque and now we are able to talk about fond memories. I have a special ornament (a little net bag with symbolic items in) and a poem I add to my Christmas tree
Maybe thinking of something to start, to remember your mum at Christmas may help you cope with the day. Or choosing to do something completely different. Whatever is right for you. Karena has some beautiful ideas, like making a garland of popcorn to hang in the garden for the birds.
And be gentle with yourself, grief is not a quick journey. Its ok to have off/down days, rest when you need to and on bad days just take little steps
It's a tough journey, but you are not alone
xx