Does anyone have any experience with Sudden Adult Death Syndrome?

[Kerrie11]

I lost my mum about 8 months ago now. It was completely unexpected and I couldn't quite believe it had actually happened. I was only 20, approaching my 21st birthday and my younger sister only 15. My mum fell and hit her face and her heart just stopped. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She was fit, healthy and only 44. It was diagnosed as Sudden Adult Death Syndrome (SADS) and I wondered whether anyone had any experience of this happening to people they know? I'm starting to heal slowly but still have days where I feel so low I won't do anything. I'm dreading Christmas the most.

[Emz2014]

Sending you a welcome hug  so sorry for your sudden loss. 
I dont have any knowledge or experience of SADS.  Its a friendly supportive place here, everyone has lost loved ones, hope we can be some support for you too xx

[Kerrie11]

Thank you :)

[sue smith]

I have experience of this,  a member of our family seemed to just decide to die.  He said goodbye to all of us and put everything in order, then he sat in his armchair and a day later died.  He had PM and no sign of drugs or alcohol and no illness detected, he had just had enough of life.   It's difficult because it doesn't feel real somehow and we could never put a name to the problem.  But I believe a painless and easy  -  if that could be the correct word - passing for them.  xx

[Hubby]

So sorry to hear of f the loss of your mother at such a young age.

I have no personal experience of SADS but I can imagine it must be very difficult to accept losing someone so suddenly without any warning.

My thoughts are with you.

 

[Kerrie11]

That sounds like he knew he was going to go Sue but thank you, sounds just as hard. It's exactly how I felt because there was nothing wrong with them! Thank you all for your support.

[Emz2014]

Hi Kerrie
I just re-read your original post and your comment on dreading Christmas.  I totally understand that, for our family Christmas very much revolved around my dad. Over the years it settled into a tradition, Christmas eve he'd often be working so I would plan and make the Christmas eve dinner for when he got home. Christmas day my dad would cook, my sister would do the Christmas day pudding.  Christmas was truly fantastic.
We lost dad suddenly in the Feb. 

Our Christmas since has been different, not the same,  but still lovely in its own way. I think having a young nephew and niece helps, as the focus is more on them now.  We start the day taking flowers to dads plaque and now we are able to talk about fond memories.  I have a special ornament (a little net bag with symbolic items in) and a poem I add to my Christmas tree

Maybe thinking of something to start, to remember your mum at Christmas may help you cope with the day. Or choosing to do something completely different.  Whatever is right for you.  Karena has some beautiful ideas, like making a garland of popcorn to hang in the garden for the birds. 

And be gentle with yourself, grief is not a quick journey. Its ok to have off/down days, rest when you need to and on bad days just take little steps

It's a tough journey, but you are not alone  xx

[Kerrie11]

Hi Emz, thank you those sound like really lovely ideas! It will be different this year but I'll be spending some time with my boyfriends family who I'm really close to which will be nice. I still want it to be a happy time so I thinking about good memories like you did will be something we do too. My younger sister still gets excited about Christmas and my cousins will be around so that will be nice. Helps put the focus on making Christmas magical!