A sad place

[becsj]

I feel in a pretty sad place relating to my relationship  . I have spent a lot of time searching because unfortunately I have felt wounded and deeply hurt by my partners judgement and negative harsh words over the last few years .I am finding it hard to write because there are so many aspects and they all link in somewhere . I will try and keep with one aspect ....I have read and read about relationships and it has been a huge self journey of questioning and wondering ..am I over reacting ? Is it just me ?it feels like I have been searching and searching . I have talked in counselling sessions and worked on changing my reactions and there were improvements at times however I do believe that it takes two . Right now I think I have finally decided that my relationship is on the unhealthy side . I have tried to voice this to my partner but it seems he is not taking me seriously and is unwilling to address the problems . He tends to turn the situation so it's about me and then I begin questioning again whether it is all my fault . I have reached a place where I believe that if someone truly cared  about me from the heart then they would let me have something which I am pained about  ?   There is such a lot to say ! I remember all those years ago my dear mum carefully asked me whether my partner was treating me right . And I remember I answered with yes he does not mean it he will be nice later on . I have sat with that moment several times recently .
Before I go i wonder why my partner gets so angry  I do believe it's because of his own wounds but that does not make it any easier when he criticises my grief ..he has pointed out twice how I could not ring the school to change mums name and he shouted it's three years now and he points out that I have mums handbag in my wardrobe and clothes hanging up . It is an absolute knife in the wound although I have learned to recover a bit more more quickly.             
It does make me question though am I abnormal xxsorry for the long winded postx

[Norma]

Sending a welcome hug xx
 
Never be sorry about writing a long post, if it helps to get your feelings down on paper, here is a safe place to do it, and weve all gone through losses in our lives, we try  to give as much support as we can. Xxx

[Hubby]

Sorry to hear things aren't going too well with your partner.

We all grieve in our own way and with our own timescales. Some people cope better than others. Maybe he doesn't understand how much you are hurting. 

[Karena]

No you're not abnormal I still have stuff of my mums 12 years on,and at Xmas ended up in tears over a Xmas carol she used to sing.I think there will always be times when we still miss them.I think maybe your general unhappiness is making things worse right now because she isn't here to talk too.Only you can decide about your relationship but if you search your heart you will know what your mum would have advised.