I know exactly how you feel Colin, I am missing my Carolyn so much, I would give anything for this pain to go away but I don't think it ever will, I feel lost, alone and without purpose. I feel I am in a nightmare and can't wake up. This month it will be 4 years since Carolyn died and it seems like yesterday. I am so bloody angry and resentful that Carolyn was ripped out of my life, my world was built around her and now nothing else matters. I just feel passed my sell-by date now and will be glad when its my time, no frills etc just had enough. I am not enjoying life at all, I met a lovely lady and we get on well most of the time but its not Carolyn, I miss my soul mate and the little things we did together, I would even now go shopping with her lol. God willing we will meet again soon. I just feel like I am being punished, but for what???